9 things you didn’t know about the psychology of love

There are special advantages to writing forbidden love romance – you learn secrets about the psychology of love. Here are a few gems I really wanted to share with you. And hey – plenty more where these came from.

  1. It takes less than 4 minutes to decide whether you’re into someone or not. In these 4 minutes your subconscious mind makes the decision based on the person’s physical appearance and non-verbal language.
  2. The effect that love has on the brain is similar to the effect of cocaine. Love causes the same kind of thrill, and the same kind of euphoria.
  3. When two lovers look into each other’s eyes, their hearts start beating in the same rhythm.
  4. Only looking at the picture of a loved one relieves pain – the lover’s face may act like a painkiller.
  5. Equally attractive people have higher chances at a balanced relationship. The same goes for equality on all levels. The more levels you and your partner are equal on, the more likely it is for your relationship to be successful.
  6. Apparently the brain isn’t wired to feel attracted to body shapes. It’s always the face that pushes the button. This basically means that an attractive body isn’t as important in attracting a partner as society lets us feel.
  7. The butterflies in your stomach are caused by adrenaline. When you feel the butterflies of infatuation, you’re in the fight or flight mode typical for dangerous situations.
  8. When you feel attracted to someone, your pupils dilate.
  9. Psychologists and researchers have discovered that people’s lives, goals and very existence revolve only around love.

Enjoyed this? Stay tuned for more soon, and feel free to roam the site for a whole lot of goodies from personality tests to hot psychology facts and suspenseful forbidden love stories. I’d love to hear from you, so feel free to leave me your ideas and opinions in a comment. I’m all about the discussion at the end of the game : )

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45 thoughts on “9 things you didn’t know about the psychology of love

    1. I particularly liked the part about us only being attracted to faces. I can totally confirm. The first time I read this in a book called “Subliminal”, but I had to learn it from a couple of other shrinks before I went in on it to discover more 🙂

  1. Quite interesting facts. Some seem like they should be intuitively obvious to us, after all, it’s hardwired into our subconscious. But, in every fact, it’s a wonderful voyage of discovery. Keep it coming, Cuzz.

    1. I was surprised by the face/body fact the first time I came across it in my research, and discarded it. A few years later, more sources confirmed. Then I just had to put it out there 🙂

      1. I don’t think we can discount body symmetry, body language, and visual appeal but I do believe that people connect face to face with conversation and the look into the eyes. The eyes always tell whats on the mind. Of course, I grew up without technology so maybe its how well you tweet and the type of smartphone you have that really matters. 😂

    1. Yes, but it’s confusing to talk Romanian on this blog, when all the other readers are English speakers 🙂 Let’s talk English 🙂 I’m really glad you enjoyed it!

      1. Sure! But I’ve been living abroad for so long that nationality doesn’t make a reason to be any more or less proud than of other things.

  2. That was really interesting. I’m actually a psychology student. Another fun face is that our bodies produce a hormone called “oxytocin” when we cuddle. Cuddling reduces stress. 🙂

    1. Oh, I think I’ve read about that somewhere. Is it produced only if we cuddle with a partner, or does it work with children or friends or other people we love platonically? Sorry to take direct advantage of your training, but I couldn’t help asking 🙂

      1. That’s actually a very good question! I think it is present in any type of close relationship (non-platonic). You’ve probably heard of mothers producing oxytocin little by little during labor. This also strengthens the bond they have with the child. Deep conversations with friends also produce this hormone.

      2. This is exactly what I experienced, especially with my son. Regarding the deep conversations… I know exactly what you mean, but I haven’t felt like that since I quit smoking cigarettes – and that was three years ago. Hopefully a time will come, when I’ll feel like that again during deep conversations, but without the nail.

      3. Definitely. I never thought of it in these terms, but now that you put your finger on it, it feels real. I don’t talk with as much pleasure either. I prefer reading and writing. Basically, I became an introvert from an extrovert.

      4. Well that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe writing and reading is just what you need in your life right now. Sometimes people deal with pressures better alone, but when they regain energy they can be there for other people. Possibly even have deeper conversations. Sorry, I’m not trying to analyze your life or anything. But I hope that helps.

      5. Don’t worry, you’re not intruding 🙂 My mom is a psychoanalyst, and she’s been pretty intrusive forever, so I don’t easily recoil.

      6. Haha okay. Wow that must’ve been strange being analyzed in your family. Do you think that it was good or bad that your mother analyzed you?

      7. Well, she was wrong most of the time, so it was okay. Mostly she already had a theory in her mind that she wanted to prove to herself, and she ignored the facts that proved differently, or interpreted them in a blatantly far-fetched way to accomodate her theory. But boy, when she nailed it, she nailed. I remember one time, when she got to a spot that really hurt. You know how it feels when someone gets to a psychological wound? It’s just like on the physical level. It hurts like hell when the squeeze the pimple and the pus sprays out. I like her less ever since, but I must say, I was impressed.

      8. I’m so sorry to hear that. 🙁 But I hope you two have a better relationship now. I feel like I would’ve felt downgraded if someone interpreted my feelings for me

      9. We’re okay. The truth is, you only feel downgraded when you feel the person judges you for it, or looks down on you. But either way, I think there’s a reason why it’s not recommended to do psychoanalysis within the family – when the psychoanalyst gets to a wound, he/she acts like a surgeon; to you, as a patient, it feels like a surgery, too, it’s incredible; you KNOW a wound has just been cut out; it’s almost physical. And, even though you’re grateful, you hate the holder of the secret. The keeper. That’s why it shouldn’t be a family member. My two cents.

      10. Thank you, I honestly never thought of that. I don’t have a family of my own but sometimes I analyze my friends or partners without even trying. That is a very good point!

      11. I do but neither of them were very present. Sometimes I wish I had a mother and a father that were involved growing up. But I’m fine with who I am today. Although it was hard everything worked out

      12. My dad wasn’r very present either. Mom was, but she was very aggressive so I ran away from her more often than not. But, like you say, it’s helped shape who I am today

      13. I’m sorry you had to go through that. But yes, I think the more aware we are of ourselves the better we can be who we want

  3. Glad I dropped in today to read your blog, very interesting. I think that women fall for men on so many different levels though. Its not just about a pretty face.

    1. Definitely! So true. For example, there are men out there, sex symbols, they leave me cold. They just don’t “speak” to me. Like Dwayne Johnson, with all due respect. Nice person, very attractitve, but to me just “meh”

  4. I studied psychology and was worried that it would take to romance and mystery away from what I believed to understand about love. And even though their is biological and neurological systems that stimulate what we feel as love, it was actually very magical and special to learn what makes us fall in love with someone. The papers that I read were almost very poetic.

      1. The material I was reading was all part of my study from university, research paper text books etc and now they are stored in a box in my parents loft. It was just the science behind it was beautiful, it was like someone was writing and story but it was just plain biology and neuroscience. I think it’s pretty amazing how people work is all. So sorry, but I can’t offer you the particular material I read but I’m sure you can find something interesting online 🙂

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