The 36 questions that can make your crush fall in love with you – set 2

As promised, here we are with Set 2 of The 36 Questions that Will Make Your Crush Fall in Love with You. Last week we saw that complex experiments run by reputed scientists over the course of years have revealed that not only chemistry has an important part to play in attraction, but that we may actively influence the process as well. Simply put, we can contribute to making our crush fall in love with us.

Check out last week’s article for Set 1 of the 36 Questions that can Make Your Crush fall in Love with you. Today, here we go with . . .

Set 2:

  1. If you had a crystal globe to tell you the truth about your true self, your future or the meaning of your life, what would you choose to know?
  2. Is there something you’ve been dreaming about doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  3. What do you feel is your greatest achievement?
  4. What do you value most in friendship?
  5. What is your fondest memory?
  6. What is your most horrible memory?
  7. If you knew that you’d die suddenly in one year, would you change anything about your current way of life? Why?
  8. What is friendship to you?
  9. What part does affection play in your life?
  10. Tell your partner what you think are 5 of their greatest character traits. (Have someone ask them to do the same for you in return.)
  11. How close and loving is your family? Do you feel you had a happier childhood than most people?
  12. How do you feel about the relationship between you and your mother?

Enjoyed this? Plenty more Love Psychology and Love Secrets where this came from. Feel free to roam the site for personality tests, taboo-splintering articles and romantic suspense stories for the sassy reader. Subscribe to this blog and follow me on Twitter and Facebook for even more fun, and to receive notifications every time a new article hits the grid – soon Set 3 of The 36 Questions that can Make your Crush fall in Love with You. And, most importantly, stay tuned for a new personality tests project that will be launched on Saturday, based on stories – What does your Story say about You. Looking forward to it!

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The 36 questions that can make your crush fall in love with you – set 1

For ages humanity believed that falling in love means feeling attracted to another by some mysterious and irresistible force that has nothing to do with free will. Then, a few decades ago science has discovered the chemistry of “chemistry”, and linked irresistible attraction to the genes and the major histocompatibility complex (MHC) (details here). And yet a remarkable ample experiment the results of which have been made public in 1997 showed that if two people willingly spent time together and answered each other a series of questions (determined in the context of the experiments), this can lead to the two people growing very close and falling in love with each other.

The experiment – or better said experiments, since they were based on extensive research over a long period of time – has shown that people can play an active part in matters of falling in love by engaging in a positive way instead of passively letting things happen to them. All you have to do is be willing to play along and engage in a sort of “game” of questions and answers – of course, it is recommendable to do this in a relaxed and non-lab way, meaning that you should keep it within the frame of “normal” circumstances such as long night talks or lunch or coffee on campus, etc.

The questions – Set 1

  1. If you could choose any person in the world, who would you like to have as a guest for dinner?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Did you ever rehearse before making a phone call? Why?
  4. What is a “perfect day” for you?
  5. When was the last time you sang to yourself? What about to someone else?
  6. If you could live to 90 years old and keep either the body or the mind of a 30 year-old for the last 60 years of your life, what would it be?
  7. Do you have an obscure hunch about the way you’ll die?
  8. Name three things that you and your partner seem to have in common.
  9. What aspect of your life do you feel most grateful for?
  10. If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, which one would it be?
  11. Tell your partner the story of your life in 4 minutes, in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or skill, what would it be?

When plotting my next novel I kept these in mind and I must say, the story flows wonderfully. My stories are mostly inspired – or, better yet, “triggered” – by real life stories and events, and the details of these experiments came in quite handy. The one I’ve started on tonight, The Call Boy, is inspired from a real life crush of a business woman on a call boy who turned out to be even shadier than that, and who unwittingly applied some of these strategies. Stay tuned on the blog as well as on Twitter and Facebook to find out more, as well as for set 2 and 3 of the 36 questions that can make your crush fall in love with you.

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3 types of love that impact your life dramatically

As a writer of romantic suspense imbued with psychological mystery I explore the topic of love in depth, and have been doing so for many years. Okay, I’m “using” it, too, like some people use drugs. I can never get enough of it. Love is the ultimate pleasure, and research has shown that human life does, indeed, revolve around love.

But love comes in many forms, and in this post (part 2 next week) we’ll look at the main types of love that impact us hardest and what they say about us.

  1. Love at first sight and secret love

Did you ever feel you fell in love as if “struck by lightning”, as soon as your eyes locked with another’s? Love at first sight is something you remember your entire life, it’s extremely strong, and puts butterflies in your stomach. But you must keep in mind that this kind of love is addictive. You soon feel you can’t breathe without the person.

What’s just as strong is the secret kind of love, as ravishing as love at first sight, only that it’s impossible to bring it to expression. This is the kind of love in which you hope that the other person feels the same, but it’s impossible for you to explore the relationship due to external or moral obstacles. This is the kind of love you might feel for a teacher, a married boss, your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s best friend, your best friend’s ex; generally, people who are “off limits.” This kind of love often fuels romance novels, and they’re often inspired by real life situations – I’d love to hear your stories here, so please share in a comment, if you feel comfortable. Let us explore this further.

  1. Unrequited love

This is an extremely painful kind of love that everybody goes through at least once in a lifetime. In this situation you love someone intensely, but you’re aware this person will never love you in return. It’s a devastating but also transformational kind of love, the love that conveys most emotional maturity and depth. It’s a cathartic, purifying, and deep-drilling kind of love. Being tried and forged in this kind of love will ultimately make you a fascinating person.

  1. Obsessive love

This is the kind of love where one partner is obsessed or emotionally dependant on the other. One feels completely helpless and lost without their loved one. Unfortunately, obsessive love can only lead to the destruction of the couple because the way the obsessed person expresses their feelings hurts the other, limits them and/or conditions them. Obsessive lovers are often afraid and lack confidence, which is human, and obsessive love is something almost everybody experiences at one point in their loves. Whatever goes beyond that, nevertheless, (repeated or particularly intense loves that elicit questionable action) may be a sign of mental instability or mental disorder. Stalkers are “born” of obsessive lovers. Got stories? I’d love to read them! Leave a comment, if you feel comfortable, and let’s talk about it.

Feel like more love talk or personality tests that will reveal who you are? Feel free to roam this site for them in the upper sections like the “Personality Tests” section, or by scrolling down among older posts – there’s a whole lot to choose from there. On Twitter and Facebook we discuss hot matters daily, so stay tuned : )

 

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Do women really prefer muscular men?

It’s one of those questions, isn’t it? What research has come up with is easy to summarize: most men who take on to building their muscles do it in order to get themselves a sexual partner easier, but there are also those who do it simply because they are high powered achievers by nature. So which one of these two types do women prefer, if at all one of them? The latter category is made of men pumped with testosterone, determination, strength, and the right attitude. Pair all these things with bada$$ muscles, and there you have him – the alpha male many women do indeed slobber for. He’s Mars in Scorpio on steroids, he’s the guy everybody wants to be around, men and women alike.

But is it enough to keep her? Research but also my personal inquiries (which include a sample of 22 women who have at least once had a sexual relationship with a muscular man) that if the respective man does display the qualities of the second type (high-powered achievers, alpha makes), they want them in the long run, and they do have priority.

But this type of man is rather the exception than the rule. More often then not, the gals run into type one, namely muscle-on-demand type of over-groomed divas. This type of man often comes with an unhealthy dose of narcissism that we gals rarely take into account. Here, gals do tend to get rid of the men after a night or two, and look for another type of masculinity that satisfies them on more profound levels.

Me, I do indeed go for the high powered achiever, alpha-male type of man in my romances, and often go for the muscles, too, but not always. Damian Novac in the The Executioner is a muscle tank, but the upcoming Marquis is more of a dark Dorian Gray type of lad. A dazzling boy of obscure powers. So alpha masculinity isn’t always in the bicep, not even in the romance novel world.

How about you guys? What is your experience with this topic? I’d love to read about your view on this.

 

What does your Tarot Card say about you?

Important areas connected to the psychology of love that I so love diving into (and from which my romance novels have been born) are symbolism, occultism and astrology. Based on them I created personality tests that will bring you closer to discovering yourself as a lover – not only how you love but also how you’re loved in return. This personality test will reveal something about the kind of love you ignite in others. Please read the question below and the five possible answers. As always, try to make your choice in a relaxed state, and from the gut. Send the neo-cortex on a break, and dive into your subconscious.

Which of the following objects would you choose if they were presented to you on a tray under the moonlight?

  1. An ancient scroll
  2. A silver cross
  3. A black and golden star
  4. A scepter
  5. A lily

Interpretation:

  1. You’re a Magician. You have more power than you imagine. A fascinating mind, a knower of the heart and an alchemist lie at the core of your personality. You have the ability to manipulate energy. While you cannot influence specific people, your aura of power and wisdom will attract attention.
  2. You’re a High Priest/ess. Psychic, secretive and influential, your powers are subversive and relentless. You can connect to your love interest on deep levels and, with the right experience and training, even cause dreams and an inescapable telepathic connection. But for everything there’s a price. Use your talents well.
  3. You’re Death. Yours is a demanding, transformational and consuming type of love. The kind of love you ignite in others is addictive, dark, draining and, while the intensity is through the roof and you have the power to make yourself unforgettable, chances are your love interest will run for their lives and burn the bridges behind them. You’re Joe Black.
  4. You’re an Empress/Emperor. You’re the very embodiment of femininity/masculinity. Fertility/Authority is what you inspire, and you’re likely to be considered perfect marriage material. Mature, reliable, nurturing and protective/loving, the kind of love you inspire is the committed kind. It may well be that, if your love interest doesn’t feel ready for a committed relationship at the moment, they won’t give in to your charms.
  5. You’re a Lover (the Lovers card). You embody temptation, sweetness, the scent of infinity and perfection wafting over from the sea. You offer and inspire devotion, and you hold the promise of healing. You’re the lover where a love interest will find healing. You’re the person whose skin smells like home, but the way to that may be paved with great challenges.

Enjoyed this? Plenty more where it came from. Feel free to roam this site for many similar goodies, and follow me on Twitter and Facebook for further discussions about love and relationships. For even more personality tests, secrets and talks, subscribe with your e-mail, and you’ll be notified each time a new test or a new discussion has been launched.

I love hearing from you. Please leave a comment with your thoughts on the topic, suggestions or experiences. The best discussions often take place in the comments section under the posts : )

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10 less popular truths about love

Psychology has shown more than once that human life revolves around love. A broad topic that’s been approached in all ways possible, and is yet far from exhausted. Especially us, writers, explore it in novels, short stories, novellas, seeking to satisfy our cravings and curiosities. One of my own personal favorites? – Is eternal infatuation with one partner possible? I’ve been exploring this one for a while now. Don’t get me wrong, I have deep appreciation for the “good wine”, the profound love that begins once the testosterone level has dropped and the juices of lust have dried, but I still relish it when voltage stirs the butterflies in my stomach. In my psychology research for my stories I came across many valuable pieces of information, and here is a sneak peak – some of the less popular truths about love.

  1. People look for very different types of love. Do not assume your lover is looking for the same as you are. You may be driven by a need for consuming love, while your partner seeks profound friendship. The variety is endless.
  2. You’ll like this one – You might mistake fear for indifference or irritability. Your partner may have chosen distance in order to protect themselves.
  3. You may be surprised by a desire to leave a partner that you love. Even by the desire of being with someone else. Such thoughts are normal, and they are born from fear. It is wisest not to act on them until time validates them.
  4. You’ll sometimes feel that you’re too good for the person you’re with.
  5. Having children does not strengthen relationships. It weakens them. Exhaustion and a feeling of being overburdened take a heavy toll. Work is required in order to grow from that.
  6. Keeping the romance alive over the years requires hard work and psychological finesse. Education on the subject is paramount. Read, read, read.
  7. You’ll often feel offended, and you’ll feel the need to insult back.
  8. The first time your partner will belch in your presence without apologizing will hit you hard. That’s when they’re getting too comfortable, and you’re starting to feel taken for granted. Yes, it’s the beginning of the end.
  9. Sometimes you may cause each other pain on purpose, and it’ll have nothing to do with fluffy handcuffs and red bedrooms.
  10. The greater the love, the greater the risk.

Enjoyed this? Plenty more where it came from. Feel free to roam this site for many similar goodies, and follow me on Twitter and Facebook for further discussions about love and relationships. For even more secrets and talks, subscribe with your e-mail, and you’ll be notified each time a new discussion has been launched.

I love hearing from you. Please leave a comment with your thoughts on the topic, suggestions or experiences. The best discussions often take place in the comments section under the posts : )

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What do your Unrequited Loves say about you?

If even the smallest thing can say a ton about our personalities, then imagine what something as big as Love can reveal. This is the first of many posts that will focus on what our Love says about us. As always, I’m going to ask you to take a look at the quotes below, and choose the one that rings closest to your heart. It’s going to reveal something about the way you love, and even about how you’re loved in return.

  1. “Love is never lost, even if it’s unrequited. It returns to you and tames and cleanses your heart.” Washington Irving
  2. “I prefer a lost love to a love I never had.” Mircea Eliade
  3. “No man who loves should be called unhappy. Even unrequited love has its own rainbow.” James Matthew Barrie
  4. “Friendship is definitely the best cure against the disappointments of love.” Jane Austen
  5. “The fact that you love someone doesn’t mean they have to be yours. Love isn’t a bandage to cover your wounds.” Hugh Elliot

Interpretations:

  1. You have a gift to see the best in almost any situation. Your love is dedicated and often selfless, but also quiet. Beware of that. Some people fail to recognize worth unless you scream it.
  2. Your love is bold, daring, it uncovers its chest and invites the dagger. Passionate and profound, your wounds probably won’t stop you making the same mistake again and again. Your love is intense and addictive.
  3. You’re much calmer in retrospect than you are in the moment of heartbreak. You are a person who focuses on learning, growth and healing. In old age you’ll probably boast a lot of wisdom.
  4. You have a strong sense of self-preservation. Discerning and grounded, your love can be powerful, but almost always less important than reason. In your youth you maybe be/have been easier to intimidate or fool, but this is not the case in older years.
  5. Your love is heavy, serious and committed. But your sharp wit is the hell of a bouncer, so it’s very hard for someone to get in. You’re a fine judge of feelings (and maybe also character). You spot “faulted” loves from afar – co-dependency, Oedipus complex gone wrong, there’s no fooling you. You may be an intimidating lover.

Enjoyed this? Plenty more where it came from, so stay tuned. Until then, search the site for a whole lot of goodies from personality tests to hot love psychology and suspenseful forbidden love stories. For more, follow me on Twitter and Facebook, where I share loads of cool stuff. Of course, last but not least, feel free to tell me your opinion in a comment – I’m all about the discussion at the end of the game : )

 

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9 things you didn’t know about the psychology of love

There are special advantages to writing forbidden love romance – you learn secrets about the psychology of love. Here are a few gems I really wanted to share with you. And hey – plenty more where these came from.

  1. It takes less than 4 minutes to decide whether you’re into someone or not. In these 4 minutes your subconscious mind makes the decision based on the person’s physical appearance and non-verbal language.
  2. The effect that love has on the brain is similar to the effect of cocaine. Love causes the same kind of thrill, and the same kind of euphoria.
  3. When two lovers look into each other’s eyes, their hearts start beating in the same rhythm.
  4. Only looking at the picture of a loved one relieves pain – the lover’s face may act like a painkiller.
  5. Equally attractive people have higher chances at a balanced relationship. The same goes for equality on all levels. The more levels you and your partner are equal on, the more likely it is for your relationship to be successful.
  6. Apparently the brain isn’t wired to feel attracted to body shapes. It’s always the face that pushes the button. This basically means that an attractive body isn’t as important in attracting a partner as society lets us feel.
  7. The butterflies in your stomach are caused by adrenaline. When you feel the butterflies of infatuation, you’re in the fight or flight mode typical for dangerous situations.
  8. When you feel attracted to someone, your pupils dilate.
  9. Psychologists and researchers have discovered that people’s lives, goals and very existence revolve only around love.

Enjoyed this? Stay tuned for more soon, and feel free to roam the site for a whole lot of goodies from personality tests to hot psychology facts and suspenseful forbidden love stories. I’d love to hear from you, so feel free to leave me your ideas and opinions in a comment. I’m all about the discussion at the end of the game : )

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