Cruel Boy Toy – First Chapter – NEW BOOK ALERT

Blurb:

He’s stalking me with one thing in mind—revenge.

Micah Royales is a Heathen King. A ruthless elite above billionaires, politicians, and the law.

He’s also a student at the college where I teach.

Convinced that I’m having an affair with his stepfather and greatest enemy, Micah sets out to use me against him and tear me apart in the process. He destroys my reputation in front of my students by making it look like he’s my boy toy. Yet it turns out this methodical destruction isn’t even my biggest problem.

Being wanted by the nefarious weapon that is Micah Royles is.

His obsessive attention becomes a prison, trapping me in a chaos of perverted sensuality. Fighting his corruption is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I need to get out of this affair before it’s too late. Before my ultimate secret comes to light, turning Micah’s passion into hatred. Once he finds out what I’ve been hiding from him all this time, he’ll make sure there’s nothing left of me but a ravaged shell, discarded at the devil’s feet.

Because there’s no forgiveness in Micah’s world.

There’s only vicious retribution.

NOTE. This is a dark romance! There will be triggers such as dub-con, knife and gun play as well as the hero going sycho on his rivals and going over the top toxic on the heroine. Please check the trigger warnings at the beginning of this book. If Rina Kent (God of Malice, God of Pain), Shantel Tessier (The Ritual, The Sinner) and HD Carlton (Haunting Adeline) are your jam, then go ahead and read this because it will be right up your alley. But if you’re more into a sweet, does-it-all-right hero, steer clear.

CHAPTER I

Micah

I run my thumb over the steering wheel while waiting for Eva Brannan to exit the hotel lobby. She’s been meeting that piece of shit Romano at the Vanguard Plaza for weeks now. Who would have thought that my dirty bastard of a stepfather would end up fucking a philosophy professor instead of a top-tier escort?

Not that the cold beauty Eva Brannan looks anything like the average professor. Still, she doesn’t look like a whore either, yet I have a dozen pictures to prove that she is one: Her in Romano’s arms in the hotel lobby. The two of them at the hotel cafe, his hand resting on her knee under the table. Him whispering in her ear while she’s got a fake smile plastered on her face, staring with cold blue eyes out the cafe window.

I squeeze the wheel so tightly that it’s a miracle it doesn’t fucking snap in my grip.

If the asshole thinks he can enjoy his money with the leggy blonde while Sade and I fight cartels and illegal arms dealers for him, he’s dead wrong. Especially since he’s been upping his game lately, trying to get us killed.

Now I know why.

He needs us out of the way faster so he can get rid of Mother, too. He’s desperate to regain his freedom, probably to marry Eva Brannan. He’s been keeping our mother in a secret mental institution ever since Sade and I were toddlers, but the bastard can’t have her killed while big bro and I still breathe. All of her inheritance would go to us. So, he needs us cold in the grave first to remain her only next of kin. And now that he’s head over heels for the philosophy professor, he needs to speed shit up. His being our commander in the Heathen Kings’ hierarchy isn’t helping our cause either, since we have to go on the missions he commands us to go on, and we can’t kill the fucker. His murder would cause a bloodbath with the Elders.

So I’m doing this the smart way—and it’s going to fucking hurt.

I imagine Romano drooling all over Eva right fucking now, and my cock hardens. She’s a fine piece of ass, I’ll give her that, but one that deserves to be punished as savagely as him. She’s been posing as the somber professor for two years on campus, commanding

respect as she pranced in her high heels down the hallways. Very fucking different from the version of her who meets Romano at the Vanguard. In the university hallways, her blonde-silver hair is always flawlessly swept back, her body hidden behind forbidding black suits, while with him, she could be taken for a high-class hooker. Her hair is always a cascade of silk, her make-up showcases her high cheekbones, and her lips seem made for sucking cock, thick with lip gloss.

I’ve been imagining my dick balls-deep in that mouth from the moment I saw the first picture of her meeting Romano. Granted, I fantasized about her before too, while fucking ass in the dark corners of the uni hallways, but I didn’t actually intend to act on it. I imagined corrupting her, tearing down her principles and staining her honor, making her beg for fuckery that she’d never known she wanted, but it turns out there’s no honor to speak of. She’s a gold digger with no scruples.

Not that I have any scruples of my own, so I guess that makes us even. And it makes her fair game. My plans for her turn nastier by the minute.

She emerges from the hotel, and I squeeze the steering wheel tighter. Today, she’s wearing a wool dress that showcases her toned legs, her silver hair blowing in the wintry breeze. I give her a head start before I get out of the car and expertly tail her, knowing that Romano won’t leave the hotel anytime soon. He always stays a while after she leaves, probably to reduce the risk of their affair being discovered.

I follow her a few blocks to a cozy little neighborhood not far from the hotel. This town is a haven for the wealthiest and most influential people in the US, and those people pay a small country’s GDP for the protection of the Heathen Kings, so we keep it clean and crime-free for them—except for the organized crime that we run ourselves, of course.

The pretty professor lives on a safe little street with picturesque brownstones. The lodging was part of her contract with the university and, from my research these past few weeks, a long way from the gang-war-infested neighborhood where she grew up. Her dad left her junkie mom when Eva was fifteen and remarried a few months later. Now, Graham Brannan runs a successful tech company, lives in New Jersey with his much younger wife and two daughters, and he paid for Eva’s education. They’re not close, so he must have done it out of guilt and a sense of duty. I doubt there was any love involved, but what do I know about parental love? I was born out of a fucking gang-bang.

Eva stops at the grocery store around the corner, allowing me to reach her apartment

building ahead of her. Pushing my shades up, I jimmy the lock and let myself in. A minute later, I’m merging with the shadows behind the stairs on her landing.

Then I wait.

***

Eva

My knees tremble as I walk up the stairs to the first floor. If it weren’t for the bag of groceries occupying my hands, I’d be rubbing myself all over to eliminate the crawling feeling on my skin.

Duke Romano Royales enjoys doing this to me. In fact, I’m pretty sure it turns him on when women despise him but are forced to do his bidding anyway—as I am now. And the worst part is that I can’t talk to anyone about it. He has me in a damn chokehold.

Balancing the groceries between my knee and my chin, I try to put the key in the lock. But then something slams into the wall next to me, and I drop both the bag and my keys before I whip around.

“Jesus Freaking Christ” is poised to bolt out of my mouth, but the words freeze the moment I recognize the face looming above mine.

I blink a few times, trying to clear my vision. This can’t be right.

“Micah?” I whisper, sure that I’m seeing things.

The Heathen Kings’ daredevil is very much a star on campus, and there’s absolutely no logical reason why he should be standing outside my apartment door right now.

Or none that I can think of.

He inches closer, his hand leaning against the doorframe.

“Hello, Professor,” he says in a gravelly baritone that I’m sure has made every female on campus masturbate at least once. I’ve heard whispers about it. His eyes travel down my body like he’s assessing me.

“What the hell, Micah?” I try to push him away, but he won’t move an inch. On the contrary, he steps closer, forcing my back to mold the door while his broad chest traps mine like a block of muscle.

“Easy there.” He cocks a pierced, devilish eyebrow over his shades.

“What movie is this?” I shriek, barely breathing. “Mr. Royales, you’re assaulting a

professor at her front door, in case you haven’t noticed.” My mind spins in circles. This isn’t making any sense.

“Come on, Ms. Brannan, you can’t be this surprised. Not when you’re having an affair with my stepdaddy. You surely didn’t think you could keep that a secret for long, did you? You’re too smart for that, especially since big bro and I are Kings, too. We find shit out.”

My breathing quickens, and I’m getting lightheaded.

This is fucking bad.

The Heathen Kings don’t just rule this town, they rule the entire country from the shadows, and they didn’t amass that kind of power by playing nice. Their organization controls everything that matters in the US, from weapons to pharma, and Micah Royales is their blade, the ruthless slitter of throats. He’s got an army of bikers obeying his orders, providing protection for the highest bidder, and that’s just a hobby to Micah. Everyone in town is scared of him, and now I’ve landed on his shit list. Things can’t get any worse than landing on the radar of this hot villain.

Not that I would ever look at a student like that. Or the way he’s looking at me now while removing his shades and slipping them into the inside pocket of his leather jacket.

My breath catches at the full sight of his chiseled face, young and brutal, his eyes dark as gunpowder. There’s a maliciousness in them that few people can hold because it’s almost inhuman. It’s a level of devilry that goes beyond the capabilities of ordinary people.

And now all of it is focused on me, all of the lethality he acquired while having to survive training in actual war zones.

“What is it, Professor?” he says when I only manage to open and close my mouth like a fish out of water. “Did the cat eat your tongue?”

“It’s not what it looks like,” I breathe, aware of how stupid it sounds as soon as the words come out.

Micah clicks his tongue, his eyes assessing me, looking like nothing of what he sees surprises him. As if he expected I was the kind of bitch who would screw his stepdad all along. Not that I’m actually screwing Romano. Things are more complicated than that.

“Invite me in, and let’s talk about it.”

“No.” The word flies out of my mouth quicker than I can think. But I can’t risk being alone with death incarnate.

“Well, then.” His ironclad body pushes into my chest. I stiffen, his scent of leather and

dark chocolate caging me in. “Then I suppose we must have this conversation here.”

Doesn’t chocolate contain phenylethylamine, which is like a drug? His scent must contain it, too, because my mind can’t spawn a single coherent thought.

“There’s no conversation to be had. If you want answers, you’re gonna have to ask your stepdaddy.”

I try to shove him away again, but Micah only traps me harder. His fingers graze their way up my inner thigh over my pantyhose, then past my garters. I’d fall over if I weren’t trapped against the door, my brain desperate to reboot.

“What the hell are you doing?” I blurt out, squirming between him and the door.

“Figuring out the answers for myself,” he says as his hand moves up, his body making it impossible for me to escape. “Since you’re refusing to have a civilized conversation.”

I open my mouth to blurt out that I changed my mind, that I’ll let him in, but he pushes his body so hard into mine that it squeezes the air out of my lungs.

“On second thought, I think I prefer doing it like this.” His voice is a low growl. “I get my answers, and you learn your lesson.”

His fingers reach the apex of my thighs and run over my panties. I gasp, choking on my own saliva when the pads of his fingers skim past the side of the lace, feathering over the lips of my pussy.

He finds me freaking wet because no woman with blood in her veins would resist a situation like this, as fucked up as it is. The blend of danger and outrageousness is unique. Until the outrageousness outweighs everything else.

“Stop this madness immediately,” I squeak, slapping his wrist, but his hand won’t budge. On the contrary, it clamps down on me, cupping my pussy so hard that it knocks me harder against the door.

“Did he leave his cum in you?” His voice is calm, yet filled with danger. “Or did he come in your mouth today?” He lifts his other hand and runs his thumb over my lips. The back of my head hits the door as I try to jerk away from him and find nowhere to go.

I brace myself to utter a bitter retort, but he uses the moment to slip his thumb into my mouth.

“Choose your words carefully, or I’m going to make sure you choke on them,” he threatens, cupping my jaw with the rest of his hand while pushing his thumb deeper until his brass ring reaches my lips. I think about those ringed fingers balling into fists, pummeling

down into the faces of the Kings’ enemies when they send him on a mission. Justine, my best friend and the girlfriend of Micah’s brother, Sade, has some chilling stories to tell about that.

Not that I wasn’t prepared for those stories. I was briefed about the Heathen Kings as soon as I started at Norton King’s college almost two years ago, but damn, I wasn’t prepared for this.

Micah rubs the heel of his palm against my clit over the lace, which is now soaked, his thumb pressing down on my tongue with the clear intention of making me gag.

“Where did he come today, professor? Jerk your hips forward if it was your cunt, or bite down on my thumb if it was your mouth.”

I don’t do either, still stunned and trying to make sense of what’s happening. But then Micah flashes me a bad-boy smile, and the fight dies down inside me.

I attempt to push a plea out of my mouth and get him to go inside the apartment so we can talk, but I choke on his thumb. His finger slips through the side of my panties, running between the lips of my pussy. I haven’t had sex in six months, ever since Santi and I broke up, so I’m not precisely smooth down there, but Micah seems pleasantly surprised. It earns me a satisfied groan.

“Daddy likes a hairy pussy, does he?” He laughs like he just caught me kneeling behind a dumpster with a dick in my mouth. “What a lucky coincidence that I do, too. Did he unload his cum in here, or is this all your own juice?”

I struggle against the cage he formed between his impossibly hard body and the door when Santi Rossi appears in the doorway across the landing.

The statistics professor and I met the day we signed our contracts, and because we hit it off so well, we asked to be assigned close apartments, thinking we’d be great friends. One thing led to another. Now I wish that first night of Netflix and chill had never ended in comfort sex, and we’d really stayed only friends. He’s fun to be around, but he’s a compulsive cheater.

Santi stares at us with an open mouth, his hand on the knob. Damn it, he shouldn’t even have been home. He usually spends his weekends with his friends in New York, hooking up with college girls he can’t ethically sleep with here.

Every hope I had of him not recognizing Micah is pulverized when the Heathen King turns to Santi and gives him a wink. I shake my head as much as his grip on my face will let

me, not even wanting to imagine what this must look like to Santi. Me with my garters showing, trapped against the door by a biker who’s got a hand up my pussy and his thumb in my mouth. Not to mention that said biker is a King and a student on campus. Not technically my student, but he could take my classes anytime if he chose to add some ethical philosophy to his studies of weapon engineering.

So he could become my student, which means we’re completely off limits for each other.

Taking advantage of Micah’s attention resting on the open-mouthed Santi, I drag my face to the side and escape his hold on my jaw, freeing my mouth.

“Micah, stop this!” I try to push him again and fail.

“Oh, I’m sure you can explain to Professor Rossi here how this isn’t what it seems. Just like you were explaining to me earlier about what happened at the Vanguard. You could tell him that you being crammed against the door is just—”

“Come inside,” I shriek, swiveling around and bending down for my keys.

I don’t need to see him to know that he’s still smirking at Santi while I fumble on the floor for them. Something hard pushes against my buttocks when I turn the key in the lock, and the air whooshes out of me.

Micah has a raging erection, and I’m about to be alone with him in my apartment.

But the urgent matter right now is getting out of Santi’s eyes.

I grab Micah’s forearm and pull him inside before I slam the door, leaving a stunned Santi behind, as well as my scattered groceries.

“Are you crazy?” I shriek out. “That was Santi Rossi!” I point to the now firmly closed door. “He’s a professor of statistics at Norton King’s, and he’s my colleague. Who just fucking saw us!”

“And what’s he going to do about it?” He cocks that devilish, pierced eyebrow. “Tell?” A laugh vibrates in his chest, filled with both scorn and power. “I reckon he values his balls too much to risk that.”

“It might give me trouble I don’t deserve. That thing with your stepfather—” I throw my keys on the small table by the door and run a hand through my hair, trying to pull myself together. “It isn’t what you think. It’s not an affair, it’s more complicated than that.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

The Heathen King paces my living room, grabbing my silk camisole off the back of the armchair and lifting it up to his face. He breathes in deeply, his eyes snapping up at me over the hand in which he holds it. My back snaps straight at eye contact, and I can’t make another sound until he slowly lowers the camisole. “Explain it to me then.”

I bite down into my lower lip because I can’t tell him the truth even though I’m so not fucking his stepfather. But lying to him isn’t an option either, he’d see right through me. The Heathen Kings have experience with the worst kind of criminals, and they have extensive training interrogating them. Also, they have ways of getting the truth out of people that would give the Spanish Inquisition a run for their money.

“It’s not what it seems,” I repeat, unable to find something else to say.

Micah throws his head back, his chest vibrating with laughter.

“Sure it’s not.” He drops the camisole back onto the armchair and walks over, fully aware of how I shrink in on myself with every step he takes. I watch him approach, his features barely visible in the stark winter light flooding my living room from the window behind him. It surrounds him like a cold aura, his shape merely the outline of an icy god.

I’ve had to put up with many cock-sure students since I started on campus, and I’ve developed thick skin. I even held my ground in front of a King once—even though he was one who didn’t deserve the title. But now I find myself closing my arms around me and stepping back from Micah Royales.

“Explain. It. To. Me. In detail,” he orders.

I rub my arms, shifting from one foot to the other like a flustered girl in front of the school bully.

“Listen, this is going to sound crazy, but I need you to trust me, okay? The only thing I can tell you right now is that it’s pure business.”

Micah clicks his tongue, the look in his eyes morphing into contempt as he drags it down my frame.

“I can imagine what kind of business it is if it looks like this.” He retrieves his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and swipes a few times before holding it in my face.

What I see is a picture of Romano and me in the hotel cafe window, his face pushed into my hair while he’s whispering in my ear. I’m smiling because he told me to, the bastard. He knew whoever caught us would think this was an affair. It suits him far better than anyone finding out the truth.

The truth that would explode like a nuke in my face if it ever got out.

No explanation comes to mind as I stare blankly at the pictures that Micah swipes through. Romano’s arms around me in the hotel lobby, or him leaning too close to me at a restaurant table. Sure, it’s easy to speculate we fucked in one of the rooms upstairs before we came down for a meal.

But we never shared a hotel room with each other.

Not because Romano didn’t want to. He sure as hell did and still does. In fact, he promised that our business wouldn’t be over until I spread my legs for him at least once.

I keep shaking my head, incapable of uttering a single word. Nothing but the truth would convince Micah this isn’t what it seems, but the truth isn’t on the fucking menu. And if I lie, and claim that I am, in fact, having an affair with Romano, he’ll have his bikers fuck me until I pass out.

I’d be nothing but a worthless whore to him, and he’d make sure that when I come back to my senses, I have the cum of a dozen men all over me. It’s no secret that he likes to gang-bang women with his bikers, even though the women are always willing participants. There’s a whole group of students on campus that actually bid money for the privilege. Outrageous but true.

So I do the only thing that comes to mind, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I stick out my chin and stare defiantly into his face.

“You know what, I don’t owe you an explanation. If you want one, you’ll have to ask Romano.” I stare him up and down, trying to feign the same contempt he’s showing me. “I’m disappointed, to be frank. I didn’t expect a Heathen King to come demanding answers from the weaker part of what he believes is a traitorous duo.”

“The weaker part?” He steps into me, causing me to retreat and stumble over the reading lamp next to the couch. His hand flashes behind me and catches it before it falls to the floor. “I don’t see weakness when I look at you, Professor. I see cunning and ambition. I see balls bigger than those of most men I know.” He pauses at the way I gasp. Against all odds, I think that’s the most beautiful thing any man has ever said to me. But the elation is short-lived. “Now, I also see greed. I see a cold and calculating temptress.” He leans in, breathing my scent in as if he were sampling me.

“I will make an exception for you, Professor, and I won’t use you with the rest of my men. But make no mistake—I will be your worst nightmare. By the time I’m done with you,

you will be thoroughly ruined.” He bares his teeth like an animal intending to toy with his prey before rending it. “By the time this is over, I’ll be the only thing on your cold, calculating mind. I’ll be the master you’ll be forced to serve like an obedient little slut, unless you tell me exactly what’s going on between you and that piece of shit who calls himself my father.”

He smirks, and I choke on my own breath. “Also, you’ll break up with him. By phone or text, I don’t care, as long as you don’t meet him again. If you see him face to face one more time, you’ll regret it.”

Setting the lamp behind me back on its feet, he slowly walks away. When he reaches the door, I have a full view of the Heathen Kings’ throat-slitter sliding his shades back on and shoving a toothpick in his mouth.

“You have two days to make it happen, and come clean.” He gives me a roguish grin before he leaves my apartment, his scent of leather and dark chocolate lingering behind.

The air leaves my lungs in a loud exhale that I didn’t even realize I was holding, and I collapse on the couch like a sack of potatoes.

“What the hell was that?” I say out loud, raking my hands through my hair before I land a few slaps on my cheeks.

I can’t believe this just happened.

Micah caught me with Romano.

Then he fingered me outside my door.

“I’m fucked.” The realization of what just happened washes over my brain. “I’m so fucking fucked.”

My soaked panties turn cold against my needy pussy.

All Kings are dangerous, but Micah is the most naturally vicious of them all. He’s been through stuff that would put lesser men in the psych ward, and he’s so unhinged that even his brother Sade watches himself around him, careful not to cause a fuse to snap. I got the general idea of his past in the dean’s office when I started out at Norton King’s, much of which I considered to be legend rather than truth until Justine’s relationship with Micah’s brother Sade brought me closer to their circle.

And I can testify to the fact that being close to the Kings is a hair-raising experience.

They’ve only been mingling with us mere mortals since Justine and Sade became an item, which was also around the time Romano started to put pressure on me. Considering

what he’s got on me, refusing to see him wasn’t an option. What’s for sure is that none of the other Kings can discover what Romano is actually up to. If they do, he’ll make sure the nuke explodes in my face before he goes down.

But keeping the secret from Micah is now close to impossible.

Damn the day the Kings descended from their exclusive lounge in the gallery overlooking the cafeteria to join us.

The girls and I didn’t draw much attention until we mingled with the most feared men on campus, even if professors sitting with students would usually raise some question marks. But I’m only three years older than them, and we look about the same age. Yet when the Kings joined us, things changed drastically. Everybody began staring. So, I made a habit of having something to do around lunchtime to avoid sitting with them, which is why this was also my first direct interaction with Micah.

Not that I haven’t noticed the way he stared at me on campus lately, but I didn’t think much of it because he kept his distance. I figured he was just wondering about me, the way the other Kings did. It’s unusual for someone my age to gain a professorship at one of the most prestigious universities in the country. He must have put it on my connections when he discovered that heiress and top-student Melody Sorbaine and I knew each other before I was appointed the professorship.

But Mel’s influence didn’t help me beyond the fact that it put me on a list of candidates. Then a grueling chain of exams followed, and I got the highest score among a hundred and twenty-seven people.

I earned my position.

But I doubt that Micah’s research got that far. If anything, my friendship with Mel preceding my time at Norton King’s probably fortified his certainty that I’m calculating and manipulative. And that I would twist Romano’s mind into getting rid of his mother and then marrying me.

Scenarios of how Micah will take revenge spin around in my head until I gasp for air, folding in on myself. I need to talk to someone about this, or I’ll lose my mind. But who can I tell about my non-dates with Romano without the person grilling me about the reason behind them?

I’ve never ranked my best friends before. Even though I’ve known Mel the longest, Justine and Annie quickly grew on me, and I would trust them with my life. They’re my ride-

or-die people. But can I ask them to trust me without an explanation? They’d probably take a bullet for me, but they’d need to know why they’re taking it.

Remembering my groceries are still outside like witnesses to a crime, I drag myself toward the door, hoping that I won’t run into Santi. I wouldn’t put it past him to wait until he got a chance to talk to me about what he saw. New York is only a short drive away, it’s not like he needs to fly there, so he could have chosen to leave later.

I turn the knob carefully, preparing to throw the groceries back into the bag as quickly as possible, but that bastard Micah might have stomped all over the grapes just to make me kneel.

Yet I find the groceries already back in their paper bag, neatly waiting for me outside the door. I glance left and right, wondering if he’s still out there. Didn’t he basically threaten to make me regret ever being born? Now he bags my groceries like the cute boy next door? Or did Santi do it before he left? Doubtful, considering our history.

One thing is for sure—I can’t fight my way out of Micah’s claws alone. Whether I like it or not, I’m going to need help.

Keep Reading HERE.

Tell me your favorite Dark Romance line, and I’ll tell you who you are

Alright secsi witches, time for a new personality test for readers! (Especially ROMANCE READERS) Tell me your favorite Dark Romance quote, and I’ll tell you who you are. You know the drill but, in case you don’t, here it is: Read the lines below and decide which one speaks to you within a few seconds. Which one sits right? Only after the decision fell, read the interpretations below. Have fun!

  1. You’re mine
  2. Who did this to you?
  3. Touch her and you die
  4. Good girl
  1. You’re mine – you’re a person who has had to earn pretty much everything in life, from money to your loved ones’ attention and affection; to you, relationships can be hard work; you are often expected to be in control; expressing your emotional needs may have been labeled as frivolous by important others in the past; deep down, you have a need to be loved without having to earn the love; typical for independent women; you need a partner that you can admire and that you can rely on;  someone who will allow you to “rest”, relinquish control, and still be safe; you’re someone who feels most valuable when being desired beyond rhyme or reason, to the point where it doesn’t even make sense to common sense; the more anchored and dependable you are in real life, the more scandalous to modernity your deepest desires; you yearn to be loved for what you are, not for what you do; you may fantasize about a partner who watches you while you sleep; great need for a feeling of belonging, but that one wa obvious, right? Values a partner finds in you: you’re intense, dedicated, can be clingy, insecure, can become toxic;
  2. Who did this to you? – the stronger a front you put to the world, the deeper the underlying fear you had to experience in the past; the fear may well still be there, you just learned to love it, like with chronic pain; you may harbor and unconscious need for revenge, especially against someone from your close family circle; may feel guilty for some of your more violent impulses and tendencies; duplicity in emotions; trauma – an event that you may not consciously remember; need to reconnect to parts of yourself from which you dissociated; feeling of loneliness; you vet a person’s dedication to you based on their willingness to take risks for you; you would remain forever loyal to someone like this, even if they are toxic, because you believe this is so good, there’s no way you can find better; beware, it’s just a distorted mirror image of what has been taken away from you. The person that you want your partner to be? That’s the part of you that you lost. 
  3. Touch her and you die – there are few things more seductive than a male willing to take on another male for his love; this willingness of the male to make it clear to the world just how valuable you are to him is a great evolutionary sign of commitment; in a world where it is praise-worthy for males not to value and respect females, and the more they can use and discard the merrier, where many men are ashamed to be in love, someone who puts their feelings on display in such a violent way is someone to take seriously; you are emotionally and sexually stimulated by the archetype of the protector–but you probably already knew that; the more interesting part is that you often play the role of the protector yourself for the people you love; you may have put yourself in dangerous situations in the past to protect your mother or a younger sibling; you may have witnessed a close family member being abused; a feeling of powerlessness pervaded your childhood; what you need is a sense of recovering your power; the paradox in all this is that you’re probably the strongest person you know; nothing can knock you down; what a partner finds in you – you would worship at the feet of someone who makes you feel protected; you’d put them on a pedestal, put your rose-colored glasses on, and see them in a way that will make them feel great about themselves; that may be your superpower;
  4. Good girl – relationships must give you a feeling of reward; you live to please your partner; you have the nurturing kind of love that many people find highly seductive; you must be careful though because it also makes you a preferred target for predators; you’re a giver, so you attract takers; you tend to interpret an emotionally unavailable man as a serious man, which often gets you engaged in fruitless chasing; you may put your emotional needs on the last place, or even silence them for the benefit of others; you may do things that you are later not proud of in order to gain a lover’s attention and praise; you may even step on your moral standards and principles; you’re so forgiving, it’s almost angelic; a spiritual person; empathetic; has a direct line to loved ones’ emotions; may have the gift of foresight.

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A Dangerous Affair – CHAPTER I -Excerpt

Hello people! I just finished a new book in the Dark Billionaire Romance series that I’m writing as Ana C. Blacklace, and this is the beginning. Stay tuned, because I will be sharing more free excerps from the books I write under this pen name soon. Have a fantastic reading time!

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WARNING

This is NOT a clean romance. Remember that this is strictly a work of fiction for your pleasure. The author does NOT condone all of the situations and actions that take place between these characters. This is an adult, dark romance not suitable for anyone under the age of eighteen.

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CHAPTER I – Cruel Intentions

Mia

My knees grow weak, and the flute of champagne trembles in my hand.

He saw me.

Fuck, shit.

Shit, fuck.

I desperately want to spin around and disappear into the crowd, but the shock keeps me rooted on the spot. I watch him approach, people staring at him with wide-eyed admiration. 

Lord Declan Santori is a majestic, Brioni-clad version of the boy I used to stalk back in college. It’s striking to see him again, even though I’ve been following him online ever since he emerged onto the city scene as a New York mogul. His presence is even more powerful in person than on screen, punching me right in the gut. Deep down, I was hoping I’d be so far removed from his glamorous new preoccupations by now that he wouldn’t even remember me, but now I know that was stupid. You don’t just forget the kind of secret that we share.

He comes to a halt, towering over me, a dashing smile pulling at his lips. The same sinful lips that he used to torture me with.

Please, someone slap me.

No, Mia Rogers, you’re not that girl anymore. You’re a big-city hustler now, assistant to the most powerful talk show host in New York, the uber-bitch Lucretia Steinard. On top of that, the wife of the baddest billionaire in this city is your best friend, and this is her engagement party. You won’t let Declan Santori bully you here. This isn’t college anymore.

I stick my chin out, trying my best to keep my eyes on a neutral spot on his face, such as right between his eyebrows. I steel myself to ignore the abyssal black of his irises, his exquisitely sculpted face, the intense sex appeal he radiates that has all the women around fanning themselves. Charmed, beguiled, oblivious to the deranged mind behind the beautiful face.

“Well hello, little spy,” he purrs, his voice as deceiving as his scent of lemongrass and cinnamon that awakens my senses along with the memories. 

I feel infuriatingly vulnerable in my red silk spaghetti strap dress that shows too much skin. There are media VIPs here tonight, moguls and anchors and decision-makers that I want to impress. I really need to get rid of that bully-bitch Steinard, so I went the extra mile at the gym these past few weeks in preparation for this occasion. I oiled my skin to look more tanned, the tone contrasting with my sharp blue eyes in a way that cameras like, and my shiny black hair is up in a flawless do. If this were a date, I’d sure want this to be the first impression I make.

But this is a seismic encounter that I’ve been working very hard to avoid all these years. It’s not like I didn’t expect Declan Santori to be here tonight–he’s the future groom’s best friend–but I have planned things to the minute so we don’t run into each other. I watched him leave at around ten thirty–he always leaves events early to create even more buzz around himself—and made my appearance afterwards. But this time, the bastard returned.

“Declan Santori,” I manage, my voice breaking. “Long time no see.”

I hold out against the fear that tightens in my chest, but who am I kidding? The champagne flute in my hand is still visibly shaking. Even the people I was talking to before notice it.

“Indeed,” he drawls, his eyes raking down my frame.

“Such a surprise to see you here,” I blurt out, too eager to fill the uncomfortable silence that he lets hang between us as if it could swallow me whole.

His smirk curls up his lips. “Is it though?” He gestures around elegantly with the glass of whiskey in his hand. “Because this is exactly the kind of place my friends would expect me to be. It’s my tribe.”

“Well, yes. Except we are not friends.” I don’t even know where that one came from. His eyes hold mine, and I’m unable to look away. There’s a quiet anger in his face that seeps into his aura, making everyone around shift their weight, sensing the danger. 

“That’s hurtful,” he replies, his tone low, his voice haunting. “Considering our history.”

I’ve been working to gain my footing in the media for years now, doing my best to become a face for the screen, but I’ve never had so many eyeballs fixed on me before. I’m used to attention. I like attention, but this is a whole new level that Lord Declan Santori, owner of multiple trust funds, tech giants and diamond mines, garners. Word has it, he’s got Congress at his feet, and although some believe that to be an exaggeration, I know him well enough to expect that it’s true. Talking to him is enough to make a girl a star, and he damn well knows it. It’s obvious in the smirk he gives me, but his eyes smolder with dark promise.

Punishment is coming, no doubt. Now that he found me, he won’t stop until he destroys me. He’s planning it right now, I can see that devious mind working behind those obsidian eyes. He’s definitely not the best person to have unfinished business with.

“I’ll be damned, if that isn’t Lord Declan Santori in the flesh.” That voice scrapes my ears, but I manage to plaster a smile on my face as she steps between us.

My boss, uber-bitch Lucretia Steinard, places a long-nailed hand on my shoulder, heavy with designer rings and bracelets. Declan’s eyes are slow to drag over to her, and his mien darkens, making it obvious that he doesn’t welcome the interruption. But Lucretia is too hungry for contact to stop, grabbing onto the chance with both of her red-clawed hands.

“I see you’ve met my assistant, Mia Rogers.” She squeezes my shoulder, and it’s all I can do not to wince. I may have been too successful at banishing my chubby teenage self at the gym, and now voluptuous Lucretia could smother me with her tits. She’s practically pushing them up into Declan’s face as she holds out her other hand to introduce herself. “Lucretia Steinard. But I’m sure you already knew that, right?”

Declan raises an eyebrow. “Are you assuming that I approached your assistant in order to get to you?”

People giggle around us. It does sound preposterous.

Lucretia lowers her hand, looking confused. “No, that’s not what I meant–l just thought, you know, perhaps you had an interest in–” she glances at me, then at him again, “–our talk show?”

It takes effort to refrain from rolling my eyes. Her talk show is anything but collaborative. She calls the shots, and I find myself constantly running errands at her beck and call, but she thinks she can score now by giving me more importance. To think how hard it was to get this job at HQ, and that I wouldn’t even have it without Jax, Addie’s influential future husband, makes my stomach turn. In this industry, people have to pull strings for the sole honor of slaving away for people like Lucretia, but it’s somehow only in moments like this that we realize how mighty wrong that is.

“Miss Rogers and I knew each other in college,” Declan says, his eyes sliding over to me. “I assume it’s still Miss, and it’s still Rogers, yes?” The subliminal message–It better be–crawls up my spine. 

“Yes, yes of course.” Of course? I make a mental note to slap myself real hard when I get home.

He tilts up that perfectly chiseled jaw. As a college boy he resembled a sexy anime character with his spiked hair and intense gaze. But now? He’s so striking, my stupid heart beats out of rhythm. So much added manliness, cunning, and sleek danger. His chest is broad and athletic under his suit, making it obvious he still has the body of a pro athlete. Maybe he still fights in the ring? It was a brutal and cruel kind of boxing that made him a star back in college and, while I haven’t heard a word about that in the media, he might still be doing it–sheer violence and sophistication in one package. Even the way he raises his glass as if to celebrate my being single, the grace and elegance, reminds me of the Machiavellian heartthrob I used to fawn over. Of the way the muscles in his back snaked in the shower, while he raked his fingers through his wet hair while I stalked him.

No, fuck that memory. This is a monster that almost destroyed my life. What he did to me the night we spent together at the frat house, that’s what I should focus on. 

“I’m glad we bumped into each other, Mia,” he says. “What luck, huh? Now that we know where to find each other, I’m sure it’ll happen more often.” Words that any girl at this party would melt to hear. But I stiffen all over.

As if on cue, a catwalk model sashays over, looping her arm around Declan’s elbow, her chin raised with an attitude of ownership. I should feel relieved, but instead, my teeth grit together. The woman is so damn beautiful. Lucretia steps forward with her chest out and her chin up, her blond extensions falling in waves down her back as if to prove she is the most glamorous woman in this little gathering.

“I hope we see each other again soon, too, Lord Santori. I’ll send you an invitation to my talk show,” she calls after him as he turns away with the model on his arm. If I could peel my eyes away from Declan’s elegant back, my head would snap to her. I’ve never heard Lucretia Steinard sound remotely desperate before. People beg to be on her show, not the other way around.

But then again, this is Declan Santori we’re talking about.

“Have your assistant contact me about it,” he throws over his shoulder.

My eyes pop out. No, the bastard can’t be doing this to me.

Once Declan and his model have mingled with the crowd and everybody’s let loose the breath they were holding, Lucretia swivels around. Her pale blue eyes are big as onions, her long, fake lashes almost touching her highly arched eyebrows. “Are you serious?” she croaks. “You and Declan Santori are college friends?”

“I wouldn’t say friends,” I reply, but it flies right past Lucretia’s ear. One of the traits that has gotten her this far in life is that she only hears what suits her.

“Now’s not the time for false modesty, girly.” Fuck, I hate it when she calls me that. “Look around you. Do you see it?”

Indeed, I do. Everyone’s looking at me differently, like I’m more than just one of the hustling little rats at HQ. The sensation is new and scary.

“No, it’s not like that.” I motion in the general direction where Declan is talking to other people. He’s surrounded by a ring of bodyguards now, no one can get anywhere close to him, not even a celebrity like Lucretia. “I mean, he is Lord Declan Santori.” I purposefully stress the word Lord. “It’s not like we move in the same circles.”

Only one of Lucretia’s eyebrows remains up as she looks at me suspiciously.

“He sure seems to remember you.”

“Not for those reasons. He…” Okay, I have to tell her. It’s the only way to deter her from throwing me into the lion’s den. “He used to bully me, okay? I was this nerdy sophomore with braces that had a crush on him and, well, let’s just say he found that amusing, and shared the fun with his friends.”

“Shared?” Her cocked eyebrow rises even higher. The woman has a dirty mind, but that’s one of the few things I like about her.

I scoff. “Not in that sense. Declan Santori had other ways to bully me.”

She stares at me for another few moments, but then she nods in agreement. As if, after studying me more closely than she ever did before, she decided that indeed, I’m not the kind of woman that would make Declan Santori interested in her that way.

I could laugh in her face so hard right now.

If she only knew the sick bastard isn’t into pretty pleasures. He likes humiliating girls with braces, fucking them deep-throat in front of a camera. He loves to dominate and debase.

But I’ll be damned if I let him fuck me up again. I’m not stupid, I know that I can’t run from him anymore. But after how hard I’ve worked and how much I’ve sacrificed to get where I am today, Declan isn’t going to bully me out of my own life.

Still, Lucretia looms over me, exuding an air of ambition. Her appetite for success and money is never satisfied, and now that she sees this opportunity, she’s ravenous.

“Mia, I don’t think you understand.” She rests her jewelry-laden hand on my shoulder again, her nose dangerously close to mine. With every word she speaks, her super white teeth show. “We have a once in a lifetime opportunity here. We could get the Declan Santori on our talk show. The man controls half of this country’s wealth in his trust funds, and he’s the hottest bachelor out there, man of the hour. Audiences will skyrocket.”

Ah, there it is again, that our show thing. To think that, until a minute ago, she hasn’t missed a single chance to make my life a living hell. Juggling her appointments, doing the impossible to get props that occur to her at the last minute, and managing the people she doesn’t feel like dealing with herself. If it hadn’t been for Jax’s intervention, I would have been the last person she would have picked for a permanent hire after my internship. She hates my guts, and has shown it every day since I was shoved down her throat as her new assistant. She leans so close that I can smell the mint on her breath, her hand on my shoulder weighing me down.

“You will do this,” she pushes through her teeth.

“Lucretia, you can rely on me for whatever you need, you know that. I mean, I’m the one who got you gold-polished natural roses for that special edition you got at the last minute with that huge K-pop group. But please understand–I do not have that kind of access to Declan Santori. He just threw that over his shoulder to get us off his back.” You, to get you off his back.

Her eyes narrow into a glare. “Listen girly, I don’t know what you’re playing at, but the big man said loud and clear he expects you to contact him.”

“He was just trying to brush us off. I don’t even have his number.”

Her red-lipped grin fills with cunning. “But you are best friends with Jax Vaughn’s future wife. I’m sure she can help you get his contact details. You’re actually a very well-connected person, if we think about it.” 

“We’ll look like tail-wagging stupid idiots,” I press, but she won’t relent.

“You will get me a meeting with Lord Declan Santori,” she decrees. “If you know what’s good for you and your career. Your connections got you on my set, but they won’t keep you on it if you don’t prove your worth. And now’s your chance.”

Her hand drops off of me. I breathe out in relief as I watch her rich, round ass saunter away and slip into a cluster of other celebrities she’s friends with. She laughs out loud, throwing her head back, and I wheel around, happy that I can breathe again. But as I run into a wall of eyeballs fixed on me, my breath catches.

The conversation between Lucretia and me was low enough that they couldn’t hear a single word, but the man-of-the-hour billionaire garnered me more attention than I need right now. The news that he talked to me will spread out like wildfire by tomorrow among the celebrities and elites of this city. Fuck, I need a drink.

I barrel through the crowd, murmuring ‘excuse me’ passive-aggressively and stomp right out of the party room into the more secluded bar area around the corner. Unlike the party rooms, which are surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows that make one feel like they’re floating out into the skyline, there are no windows here. Just glittering bottles all the way up to the ceiling behind the mahogany bar, and scotch-colored leather seats. It’s like a gentlemen’s club, except what I find here are scattered couples giggling, sitting too close to each other to have just conversation on their minds. It’s mostly beautiful young women and filthy rich old men.

I hop onto a leather-cushioned barstool, and the bartender walks over, cleaning a shaker, a white towel thrown over his shoulder.

“You look like you need something strong.”

I nod, licking my lips. They’re parched as hell under my lip gloss. The realization that I just ran into Declan Santori courses through me, making me shake all over, but the bartender is thankfully quick to set a glass in front of me.

I down the vodka, gritting my teeth against the burn shooting down to my empty stomach. A gym addiction isn’t my only derailment. I can also boast an eating disorder, but that’s fine, since the camera likes a thin woman. There’s a quote from a famous model right above the entrance to HQ – “You have one life, and you need to be skinny.” I’ve been taking that literally for years.

“Another one, please,” I mutter as I fumble inside my clutch for my phone.

“Are you sure?” the bartender asks with knitted eyebrows. “Maybe you should have something to eat first.”

So it’s that obvious.

“Listen, I’ve had a rough night, okay?” I tell him with a surrendering attitude, my shoulders slouched. “I just bumped into the man I’ve been running away from all my life, and to top it all off, my uber-bitch boss wants me to chase him and get him on her talk show.”

“That bad, eh?” a familiar, soothing voice says. I look over my shoulder to see Addie, the future bride, walking toward me. She hikes herself up onto the stool next to me, taking my hand in hers on the counter. “I saw you two talking.” Her soft blue eyes are filled with concern. “I swear to God, I had no idea he’d come back tonight. Usually, when he’s gone, he’s gone.”

“I know,” I manage, drained of energy, my eyes half closed. What I need is another drink, and then to sleep for a whole week. “On the one hand, I’m glad it happened, you know? I’m tired of running. Besides, I was bound to bump into him sooner or later. I won’t hold myself back in my career just so that he won’t see me on-screen. Maybe it’s better that it happened like this.”

Addie presses her plump, beautiful lips together, not sure what to make of my statement as I down my second drink. It hits me that Adalia Ross, my best friend, is everything Lucretia Steinard is trying so hard to be: voluptuous, impressive, and angelic. Except Lucretia is a viper, and everything about her screams that out–especially her too-large fake smile, and her enormous fake tits.

“I know it sounds partly defeatist, but it isn’t,” I defend myself.

“Not at all defeatist,” Addie says quietly. “Brave. But…It’s not this first encounter between you two that I’m worried about. It’s the next one, and then the next. I mean–” she doesn’t finish her sentence. She won’t probe around the reopened wound, but I do it for her.

“He’s going to want revenge,” I murmur, circling the rim of my now empty glass with my finger, eyes fixed on the glittering wall of liquor in front of me, my face reflected in one of the whiskey bottles. I look haunted. “He’s going to do bad things to me.”

Addie squeezes my hand, forcing it away from the glass. She tries to catch my gaze, but I keep evading it.

“You’re not that girl anymore, Mia,” she says softly. “You’re not the mousy little sophomore that used to film him secretly in the boys’ shower. The one that he could intimidate and manipulate.”

I smile at my wretched reflection. New Mia, terrified of the same old things.

“Maybe Jax can fix this,” she says. “He and Declan are as close as you and I are, maybe he can get him to give up the chase. I mean, it’s been years, he should have moved on.”

I shake my head. “You didn’t see the way he looked at me, Addie. He’ll never move on.” My voice fades over the last sentence because, as I say the words, I grasp the full scope of their meaning. “He knew perfectly well what he was doing when he told Lucretia to have her assistant contact him.” Slowly turning towards her, I ask, “By the way, can I have his number, please?”

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