Cruel Boy Toy – First Chapter – NEW BOOK ALERT

Blurb:

He’s stalking me with one thing in mind—revenge.

Micah Royales is a Heathen King. A ruthless elite above billionaires, politicians, and the law.

He’s also a student at the college where I teach.

Convinced that I’m having an affair with his stepfather and greatest enemy, Micah sets out to use me against him and tear me apart in the process. He destroys my reputation in front of my students by making it look like he’s my boy toy. Yet it turns out this methodical destruction isn’t even my biggest problem.

Being wanted by the nefarious weapon that is Micah Royles is.

His obsessive attention becomes a prison, trapping me in a chaos of perverted sensuality. Fighting his corruption is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I need to get out of this affair before it’s too late. Before my ultimate secret comes to light, turning Micah’s passion into hatred. Once he finds out what I’ve been hiding from him all this time, he’ll make sure there’s nothing left of me but a ravaged shell, discarded at the devil’s feet.

Because there’s no forgiveness in Micah’s world.

There’s only vicious retribution.

NOTE. This is a dark romance! There will be triggers such as dub-con, knife and gun play as well as the hero going sycho on his rivals and going over the top toxic on the heroine. Please check the trigger warnings at the beginning of this book. If Rina Kent (God of Malice, God of Pain), Shantel Tessier (The Ritual, The Sinner) and HD Carlton (Haunting Adeline) are your jam, then go ahead and read this because it will be right up your alley. But if you’re more into a sweet, does-it-all-right hero, steer clear.

CHAPTER I

Micah

I run my thumb over the steering wheel while waiting for Eva Brannan to exit the hotel lobby. She’s been meeting that piece of shit Romano at the Vanguard Plaza for weeks now. Who would have thought that my dirty bastard of a stepfather would end up fucking a philosophy professor instead of a top-tier escort?

Not that the cold beauty Eva Brannan looks anything like the average professor. Still, she doesn’t look like a whore either, yet I have a dozen pictures to prove that she is one: Her in Romano’s arms in the hotel lobby. The two of them at the hotel cafe, his hand resting on her knee under the table. Him whispering in her ear while she’s got a fake smile plastered on her face, staring with cold blue eyes out the cafe window.

I squeeze the wheel so tightly that it’s a miracle it doesn’t fucking snap in my grip.

If the asshole thinks he can enjoy his money with the leggy blonde while Sade and I fight cartels and illegal arms dealers for him, he’s dead wrong. Especially since he’s been upping his game lately, trying to get us killed.

Now I know why.

He needs us out of the way faster so he can get rid of Mother, too. He’s desperate to regain his freedom, probably to marry Eva Brannan. He’s been keeping our mother in a secret mental institution ever since Sade and I were toddlers, but the bastard can’t have her killed while big bro and I still breathe. All of her inheritance would go to us. So, he needs us cold in the grave first to remain her only next of kin. And now that he’s head over heels for the philosophy professor, he needs to speed shit up. His being our commander in the Heathen Kings’ hierarchy isn’t helping our cause either, since we have to go on the missions he commands us to go on, and we can’t kill the fucker. His murder would cause a bloodbath with the Elders.

So I’m doing this the smart way—and it’s going to fucking hurt.

I imagine Romano drooling all over Eva right fucking now, and my cock hardens. She’s a fine piece of ass, I’ll give her that, but one that deserves to be punished as savagely as him. She’s been posing as the somber professor for two years on campus, commanding

respect as she pranced in her high heels down the hallways. Very fucking different from the version of her who meets Romano at the Vanguard. In the university hallways, her blonde-silver hair is always flawlessly swept back, her body hidden behind forbidding black suits, while with him, she could be taken for a high-class hooker. Her hair is always a cascade of silk, her make-up showcases her high cheekbones, and her lips seem made for sucking cock, thick with lip gloss.

I’ve been imagining my dick balls-deep in that mouth from the moment I saw the first picture of her meeting Romano. Granted, I fantasized about her before too, while fucking ass in the dark corners of the uni hallways, but I didn’t actually intend to act on it. I imagined corrupting her, tearing down her principles and staining her honor, making her beg for fuckery that she’d never known she wanted, but it turns out there’s no honor to speak of. She’s a gold digger with no scruples.

Not that I have any scruples of my own, so I guess that makes us even. And it makes her fair game. My plans for her turn nastier by the minute.

She emerges from the hotel, and I squeeze the steering wheel tighter. Today, she’s wearing a wool dress that showcases her toned legs, her silver hair blowing in the wintry breeze. I give her a head start before I get out of the car and expertly tail her, knowing that Romano won’t leave the hotel anytime soon. He always stays a while after she leaves, probably to reduce the risk of their affair being discovered.

I follow her a few blocks to a cozy little neighborhood not far from the hotel. This town is a haven for the wealthiest and most influential people in the US, and those people pay a small country’s GDP for the protection of the Heathen Kings, so we keep it clean and crime-free for them—except for the organized crime that we run ourselves, of course.

The pretty professor lives on a safe little street with picturesque brownstones. The lodging was part of her contract with the university and, from my research these past few weeks, a long way from the gang-war-infested neighborhood where she grew up. Her dad left her junkie mom when Eva was fifteen and remarried a few months later. Now, Graham Brannan runs a successful tech company, lives in New Jersey with his much younger wife and two daughters, and he paid for Eva’s education. They’re not close, so he must have done it out of guilt and a sense of duty. I doubt there was any love involved, but what do I know about parental love? I was born out of a fucking gang-bang.

Eva stops at the grocery store around the corner, allowing me to reach her apartment

building ahead of her. Pushing my shades up, I jimmy the lock and let myself in. A minute later, I’m merging with the shadows behind the stairs on her landing.

Then I wait.

***

Eva

My knees tremble as I walk up the stairs to the first floor. If it weren’t for the bag of groceries occupying my hands, I’d be rubbing myself all over to eliminate the crawling feeling on my skin.

Duke Romano Royales enjoys doing this to me. In fact, I’m pretty sure it turns him on when women despise him but are forced to do his bidding anyway—as I am now. And the worst part is that I can’t talk to anyone about it. He has me in a damn chokehold.

Balancing the groceries between my knee and my chin, I try to put the key in the lock. But then something slams into the wall next to me, and I drop both the bag and my keys before I whip around.

“Jesus Freaking Christ” is poised to bolt out of my mouth, but the words freeze the moment I recognize the face looming above mine.

I blink a few times, trying to clear my vision. This can’t be right.

“Micah?” I whisper, sure that I’m seeing things.

The Heathen Kings’ daredevil is very much a star on campus, and there’s absolutely no logical reason why he should be standing outside my apartment door right now.

Or none that I can think of.

He inches closer, his hand leaning against the doorframe.

“Hello, Professor,” he says in a gravelly baritone that I’m sure has made every female on campus masturbate at least once. I’ve heard whispers about it. His eyes travel down my body like he’s assessing me.

“What the hell, Micah?” I try to push him away, but he won’t move an inch. On the contrary, he steps closer, forcing my back to mold the door while his broad chest traps mine like a block of muscle.

“Easy there.” He cocks a pierced, devilish eyebrow over his shades.

“What movie is this?” I shriek, barely breathing. “Mr. Royales, you’re assaulting a

professor at her front door, in case you haven’t noticed.” My mind spins in circles. This isn’t making any sense.

“Come on, Ms. Brannan, you can’t be this surprised. Not when you’re having an affair with my stepdaddy. You surely didn’t think you could keep that a secret for long, did you? You’re too smart for that, especially since big bro and I are Kings, too. We find shit out.”

My breathing quickens, and I’m getting lightheaded.

This is fucking bad.

The Heathen Kings don’t just rule this town, they rule the entire country from the shadows, and they didn’t amass that kind of power by playing nice. Their organization controls everything that matters in the US, from weapons to pharma, and Micah Royales is their blade, the ruthless slitter of throats. He’s got an army of bikers obeying his orders, providing protection for the highest bidder, and that’s just a hobby to Micah. Everyone in town is scared of him, and now I’ve landed on his shit list. Things can’t get any worse than landing on the radar of this hot villain.

Not that I would ever look at a student like that. Or the way he’s looking at me now while removing his shades and slipping them into the inside pocket of his leather jacket.

My breath catches at the full sight of his chiseled face, young and brutal, his eyes dark as gunpowder. There’s a maliciousness in them that few people can hold because it’s almost inhuman. It’s a level of devilry that goes beyond the capabilities of ordinary people.

And now all of it is focused on me, all of the lethality he acquired while having to survive training in actual war zones.

“What is it, Professor?” he says when I only manage to open and close my mouth like a fish out of water. “Did the cat eat your tongue?”

“It’s not what it looks like,” I breathe, aware of how stupid it sounds as soon as the words come out.

Micah clicks his tongue, his eyes assessing me, looking like nothing of what he sees surprises him. As if he expected I was the kind of bitch who would screw his stepdad all along. Not that I’m actually screwing Romano. Things are more complicated than that.

“Invite me in, and let’s talk about it.”

“No.” The word flies out of my mouth quicker than I can think. But I can’t risk being alone with death incarnate.

“Well, then.” His ironclad body pushes into my chest. I stiffen, his scent of leather and

dark chocolate caging me in. “Then I suppose we must have this conversation here.”

Doesn’t chocolate contain phenylethylamine, which is like a drug? His scent must contain it, too, because my mind can’t spawn a single coherent thought.

“There’s no conversation to be had. If you want answers, you’re gonna have to ask your stepdaddy.”

I try to shove him away again, but Micah only traps me harder. His fingers graze their way up my inner thigh over my pantyhose, then past my garters. I’d fall over if I weren’t trapped against the door, my brain desperate to reboot.

“What the hell are you doing?” I blurt out, squirming between him and the door.

“Figuring out the answers for myself,” he says as his hand moves up, his body making it impossible for me to escape. “Since you’re refusing to have a civilized conversation.”

I open my mouth to blurt out that I changed my mind, that I’ll let him in, but he pushes his body so hard into mine that it squeezes the air out of my lungs.

“On second thought, I think I prefer doing it like this.” His voice is a low growl. “I get my answers, and you learn your lesson.”

His fingers reach the apex of my thighs and run over my panties. I gasp, choking on my own saliva when the pads of his fingers skim past the side of the lace, feathering over the lips of my pussy.

He finds me freaking wet because no woman with blood in her veins would resist a situation like this, as fucked up as it is. The blend of danger and outrageousness is unique. Until the outrageousness outweighs everything else.

“Stop this madness immediately,” I squeak, slapping his wrist, but his hand won’t budge. On the contrary, it clamps down on me, cupping my pussy so hard that it knocks me harder against the door.

“Did he leave his cum in you?” His voice is calm, yet filled with danger. “Or did he come in your mouth today?” He lifts his other hand and runs his thumb over my lips. The back of my head hits the door as I try to jerk away from him and find nowhere to go.

I brace myself to utter a bitter retort, but he uses the moment to slip his thumb into my mouth.

“Choose your words carefully, or I’m going to make sure you choke on them,” he threatens, cupping my jaw with the rest of his hand while pushing his thumb deeper until his brass ring reaches my lips. I think about those ringed fingers balling into fists, pummeling

down into the faces of the Kings’ enemies when they send him on a mission. Justine, my best friend and the girlfriend of Micah’s brother, Sade, has some chilling stories to tell about that.

Not that I wasn’t prepared for those stories. I was briefed about the Heathen Kings as soon as I started at Norton King’s college almost two years ago, but damn, I wasn’t prepared for this.

Micah rubs the heel of his palm against my clit over the lace, which is now soaked, his thumb pressing down on my tongue with the clear intention of making me gag.

“Where did he come today, professor? Jerk your hips forward if it was your cunt, or bite down on my thumb if it was your mouth.”

I don’t do either, still stunned and trying to make sense of what’s happening. But then Micah flashes me a bad-boy smile, and the fight dies down inside me.

I attempt to push a plea out of my mouth and get him to go inside the apartment so we can talk, but I choke on his thumb. His finger slips through the side of my panties, running between the lips of my pussy. I haven’t had sex in six months, ever since Santi and I broke up, so I’m not precisely smooth down there, but Micah seems pleasantly surprised. It earns me a satisfied groan.

“Daddy likes a hairy pussy, does he?” He laughs like he just caught me kneeling behind a dumpster with a dick in my mouth. “What a lucky coincidence that I do, too. Did he unload his cum in here, or is this all your own juice?”

I struggle against the cage he formed between his impossibly hard body and the door when Santi Rossi appears in the doorway across the landing.

The statistics professor and I met the day we signed our contracts, and because we hit it off so well, we asked to be assigned close apartments, thinking we’d be great friends. One thing led to another. Now I wish that first night of Netflix and chill had never ended in comfort sex, and we’d really stayed only friends. He’s fun to be around, but he’s a compulsive cheater.

Santi stares at us with an open mouth, his hand on the knob. Damn it, he shouldn’t even have been home. He usually spends his weekends with his friends in New York, hooking up with college girls he can’t ethically sleep with here.

Every hope I had of him not recognizing Micah is pulverized when the Heathen King turns to Santi and gives him a wink. I shake my head as much as his grip on my face will let

me, not even wanting to imagine what this must look like to Santi. Me with my garters showing, trapped against the door by a biker who’s got a hand up my pussy and his thumb in my mouth. Not to mention that said biker is a King and a student on campus. Not technically my student, but he could take my classes anytime if he chose to add some ethical philosophy to his studies of weapon engineering.

So he could become my student, which means we’re completely off limits for each other.

Taking advantage of Micah’s attention resting on the open-mouthed Santi, I drag my face to the side and escape his hold on my jaw, freeing my mouth.

“Micah, stop this!” I try to push him again and fail.

“Oh, I’m sure you can explain to Professor Rossi here how this isn’t what it seems. Just like you were explaining to me earlier about what happened at the Vanguard. You could tell him that you being crammed against the door is just—”

“Come inside,” I shriek, swiveling around and bending down for my keys.

I don’t need to see him to know that he’s still smirking at Santi while I fumble on the floor for them. Something hard pushes against my buttocks when I turn the key in the lock, and the air whooshes out of me.

Micah has a raging erection, and I’m about to be alone with him in my apartment.

But the urgent matter right now is getting out of Santi’s eyes.

I grab Micah’s forearm and pull him inside before I slam the door, leaving a stunned Santi behind, as well as my scattered groceries.

“Are you crazy?” I shriek out. “That was Santi Rossi!” I point to the now firmly closed door. “He’s a professor of statistics at Norton King’s, and he’s my colleague. Who just fucking saw us!”

“And what’s he going to do about it?” He cocks that devilish, pierced eyebrow. “Tell?” A laugh vibrates in his chest, filled with both scorn and power. “I reckon he values his balls too much to risk that.”

“It might give me trouble I don’t deserve. That thing with your stepfather—” I throw my keys on the small table by the door and run a hand through my hair, trying to pull myself together. “It isn’t what you think. It’s not an affair, it’s more complicated than that.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

The Heathen King paces my living room, grabbing my silk camisole off the back of the armchair and lifting it up to his face. He breathes in deeply, his eyes snapping up at me over the hand in which he holds it. My back snaps straight at eye contact, and I can’t make another sound until he slowly lowers the camisole. “Explain it to me then.”

I bite down into my lower lip because I can’t tell him the truth even though I’m so not fucking his stepfather. But lying to him isn’t an option either, he’d see right through me. The Heathen Kings have experience with the worst kind of criminals, and they have extensive training interrogating them. Also, they have ways of getting the truth out of people that would give the Spanish Inquisition a run for their money.

“It’s not what it seems,” I repeat, unable to find something else to say.

Micah throws his head back, his chest vibrating with laughter.

“Sure it’s not.” He drops the camisole back onto the armchair and walks over, fully aware of how I shrink in on myself with every step he takes. I watch him approach, his features barely visible in the stark winter light flooding my living room from the window behind him. It surrounds him like a cold aura, his shape merely the outline of an icy god.

I’ve had to put up with many cock-sure students since I started on campus, and I’ve developed thick skin. I even held my ground in front of a King once—even though he was one who didn’t deserve the title. But now I find myself closing my arms around me and stepping back from Micah Royales.

“Explain. It. To. Me. In detail,” he orders.

I rub my arms, shifting from one foot to the other like a flustered girl in front of the school bully.

“Listen, this is going to sound crazy, but I need you to trust me, okay? The only thing I can tell you right now is that it’s pure business.”

Micah clicks his tongue, the look in his eyes morphing into contempt as he drags it down my frame.

“I can imagine what kind of business it is if it looks like this.” He retrieves his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and swipes a few times before holding it in my face.

What I see is a picture of Romano and me in the hotel cafe window, his face pushed into my hair while he’s whispering in my ear. I’m smiling because he told me to, the bastard. He knew whoever caught us would think this was an affair. It suits him far better than anyone finding out the truth.

The truth that would explode like a nuke in my face if it ever got out.

No explanation comes to mind as I stare blankly at the pictures that Micah swipes through. Romano’s arms around me in the hotel lobby, or him leaning too close to me at a restaurant table. Sure, it’s easy to speculate we fucked in one of the rooms upstairs before we came down for a meal.

But we never shared a hotel room with each other.

Not because Romano didn’t want to. He sure as hell did and still does. In fact, he promised that our business wouldn’t be over until I spread my legs for him at least once.

I keep shaking my head, incapable of uttering a single word. Nothing but the truth would convince Micah this isn’t what it seems, but the truth isn’t on the fucking menu. And if I lie, and claim that I am, in fact, having an affair with Romano, he’ll have his bikers fuck me until I pass out.

I’d be nothing but a worthless whore to him, and he’d make sure that when I come back to my senses, I have the cum of a dozen men all over me. It’s no secret that he likes to gang-bang women with his bikers, even though the women are always willing participants. There’s a whole group of students on campus that actually bid money for the privilege. Outrageous but true.

So I do the only thing that comes to mind, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I stick out my chin and stare defiantly into his face.

“You know what, I don’t owe you an explanation. If you want one, you’ll have to ask Romano.” I stare him up and down, trying to feign the same contempt he’s showing me. “I’m disappointed, to be frank. I didn’t expect a Heathen King to come demanding answers from the weaker part of what he believes is a traitorous duo.”

“The weaker part?” He steps into me, causing me to retreat and stumble over the reading lamp next to the couch. His hand flashes behind me and catches it before it falls to the floor. “I don’t see weakness when I look at you, Professor. I see cunning and ambition. I see balls bigger than those of most men I know.” He pauses at the way I gasp. Against all odds, I think that’s the most beautiful thing any man has ever said to me. But the elation is short-lived. “Now, I also see greed. I see a cold and calculating temptress.” He leans in, breathing my scent in as if he were sampling me.

“I will make an exception for you, Professor, and I won’t use you with the rest of my men. But make no mistake—I will be your worst nightmare. By the time I’m done with you,

you will be thoroughly ruined.” He bares his teeth like an animal intending to toy with his prey before rending it. “By the time this is over, I’ll be the only thing on your cold, calculating mind. I’ll be the master you’ll be forced to serve like an obedient little slut, unless you tell me exactly what’s going on between you and that piece of shit who calls himself my father.”

He smirks, and I choke on my own breath. “Also, you’ll break up with him. By phone or text, I don’t care, as long as you don’t meet him again. If you see him face to face one more time, you’ll regret it.”

Setting the lamp behind me back on its feet, he slowly walks away. When he reaches the door, I have a full view of the Heathen Kings’ throat-slitter sliding his shades back on and shoving a toothpick in his mouth.

“You have two days to make it happen, and come clean.” He gives me a roguish grin before he leaves my apartment, his scent of leather and dark chocolate lingering behind.

The air leaves my lungs in a loud exhale that I didn’t even realize I was holding, and I collapse on the couch like a sack of potatoes.

“What the hell was that?” I say out loud, raking my hands through my hair before I land a few slaps on my cheeks.

I can’t believe this just happened.

Micah caught me with Romano.

Then he fingered me outside my door.

“I’m fucked.” The realization of what just happened washes over my brain. “I’m so fucking fucked.”

My soaked panties turn cold against my needy pussy.

All Kings are dangerous, but Micah is the most naturally vicious of them all. He’s been through stuff that would put lesser men in the psych ward, and he’s so unhinged that even his brother Sade watches himself around him, careful not to cause a fuse to snap. I got the general idea of his past in the dean’s office when I started out at Norton King’s, much of which I considered to be legend rather than truth until Justine’s relationship with Micah’s brother Sade brought me closer to their circle.

And I can testify to the fact that being close to the Kings is a hair-raising experience.

They’ve only been mingling with us mere mortals since Justine and Sade became an item, which was also around the time Romano started to put pressure on me. Considering

what he’s got on me, refusing to see him wasn’t an option. What’s for sure is that none of the other Kings can discover what Romano is actually up to. If they do, he’ll make sure the nuke explodes in my face before he goes down.

But keeping the secret from Micah is now close to impossible.

Damn the day the Kings descended from their exclusive lounge in the gallery overlooking the cafeteria to join us.

The girls and I didn’t draw much attention until we mingled with the most feared men on campus, even if professors sitting with students would usually raise some question marks. But I’m only three years older than them, and we look about the same age. Yet when the Kings joined us, things changed drastically. Everybody began staring. So, I made a habit of having something to do around lunchtime to avoid sitting with them, which is why this was also my first direct interaction with Micah.

Not that I haven’t noticed the way he stared at me on campus lately, but I didn’t think much of it because he kept his distance. I figured he was just wondering about me, the way the other Kings did. It’s unusual for someone my age to gain a professorship at one of the most prestigious universities in the country. He must have put it on my connections when he discovered that heiress and top-student Melody Sorbaine and I knew each other before I was appointed the professorship.

But Mel’s influence didn’t help me beyond the fact that it put me on a list of candidates. Then a grueling chain of exams followed, and I got the highest score among a hundred and twenty-seven people.

I earned my position.

But I doubt that Micah’s research got that far. If anything, my friendship with Mel preceding my time at Norton King’s probably fortified his certainty that I’m calculating and manipulative. And that I would twist Romano’s mind into getting rid of his mother and then marrying me.

Scenarios of how Micah will take revenge spin around in my head until I gasp for air, folding in on myself. I need to talk to someone about this, or I’ll lose my mind. But who can I tell about my non-dates with Romano without the person grilling me about the reason behind them?

I’ve never ranked my best friends before. Even though I’ve known Mel the longest, Justine and Annie quickly grew on me, and I would trust them with my life. They’re my ride-

or-die people. But can I ask them to trust me without an explanation? They’d probably take a bullet for me, but they’d need to know why they’re taking it.

Remembering my groceries are still outside like witnesses to a crime, I drag myself toward the door, hoping that I won’t run into Santi. I wouldn’t put it past him to wait until he got a chance to talk to me about what he saw. New York is only a short drive away, it’s not like he needs to fly there, so he could have chosen to leave later.

I turn the knob carefully, preparing to throw the groceries back into the bag as quickly as possible, but that bastard Micah might have stomped all over the grapes just to make me kneel.

Yet I find the groceries already back in their paper bag, neatly waiting for me outside the door. I glance left and right, wondering if he’s still out there. Didn’t he basically threaten to make me regret ever being born? Now he bags my groceries like the cute boy next door? Or did Santi do it before he left? Doubtful, considering our history.

One thing is for sure—I can’t fight my way out of Micah’s claws alone. Whether I like it or not, I’m going to need help.

Keep Reading HERE.

Dirty Arrangement – First Chapter and Meet ‘Cute’

WARNING. This is a Dark Romance. It may include trope-specific triggers such as but not limited to: mention of abuse, indecent proposal, forced proximity by the hero. Recommended only if you are familiar and comfortable with Dark Romance.

Blurb:

Sirenna

Zayne Thorngren isn’t Lucifer. He’s the whole damn hell. Violence incarnate.

I should stay a million miles away from him but, with the city mafia out to get me, the controversial billionaire is the only one who can protect me.

So, I have no choice but to accept the dirty arrangement he offers. 

An affair that Zayne has full control of, while I’m caught in his web of dark desires.

But the more of my problems he solves, the more I realize he’s not going to let me go. Like, ever. His passion is a prison that I’m not sure I want to escape.

Still, there’s one thing more powerful than Zayne’s possession. His secret, hidden in a past that’s coming to tear us apart. A secret that should send me running away in horror. And yet…  

Zayne

I’m this city’s golden boy, a celebrated pharma lord.

Some call me the real-life Lex Luthor, while others say I’m my very own brand of vicious. 

A member of The Order with no weaknesses. No soft spots. No addictions. 

Except for watching Sirenna Carter.

Imagining dirty, nasty scenarios with her.

So when she comes asking for protection from the city mafia, I demand payment right there, on the couch in my office. It should still my lust and get her out of my system, right?

Wrong.

Because now I’m obsessed. 

Possessed by a need that’s out of this f*cking world.

I will destroy her enemies and put the world at her feet, but can I protect her from the monster lurking beneath my skin? And when my secret starts creeping out from the shadows of my past, will this twisted love be enough to save us? 

***

CHAPTER I

Sirenna

“This is bullshit.” 

I throw myself onto the pillow, my phone landing on the bed next to me, showing death threat number fuckteen. A sound rips through the room before a stark light lands on my face, forcing me to slap a hand over my eyes. My groan morphs into a very unladylike, hung-over cough.

“Rise and shine, princess,” a familiar voice chirps. Fuck me, it’s too early to deal with her.

Mia Rogers–soon to be Lady Santori–is the only person I know who manages to sound accommodating and commanding at the same time. She’s a hustler used to getting her way, but at the same time, she’s charming, and pleasant. Me? I’ve been called a stuck-up bitch more often than by my own name. 

“Damn it, close those motherfuckers, will you?” 

“Like hell I will.” The bed jerks when she drops onto the mattress. I don’t need to look at Mia to know her eyes are running over the empty champagne bottles lying around the hotel room. “I understand that you need time to heal after everything that happened, but you seem to be growing comfortable in your misery. Let me remind you that you can’t afford that. With Joseph missing, you’ve got a whole freaking empire to run, not just this hotel.”

“Not now, Mia, I’ve got a mean hangover.”

“Yeah, you’ve been having a lot of those lately. You need to snap out of it.” She props herself on her elbow next to me, so close now that I can smell her expensive perfume.

“Come on, Sirenna, you’re stronger than this.”

My phone buzzes, and the display lights up. 

I don’t even bother to pick it up. Let Mia do it. See for herself why I’m not leaving this hotel for the next couple of decades. A sigh leaves her lips. You know what, let’s take this up a notch. I unlock the device for her and let her read the texts that came before it. 

“So, shall I order room service?” I taunt as she reads. “You can listen to the voice messages while you enjoy a hearty breakfast. We have excellent croissants here.”

“I…wow,” she mutters, still scrolling, her eyebrows arched up. If those texts are enough to render the tough journalist Mia Rogers speechless, imagine what they’d do to the average person. 

I drag myself out of bed, wrapping the discarded bathrobe around me–not because I need it, since I’m going to step into the shower right away, but because I don’t want Mia asking questions that make me feel more like shit than I already do. I slept in the same tiny red dress I wore last night to the hotel bar, which dress is now crumpled, and my pantyhose are ripped. I wonder how that came to be since I didn’t eventually hook up with anybody. 

I intended to. But no matter how drunk I got, I just couldn’t do it. 

I squint at myself in the vanity mirror, brushing my matted hair away from my face. My eyes are swollen, my make-up smeared around them, my face puffier than usual. I look over at Mia’s reflection. She’s flawless with her shiny black hair pulled into that stylish do, her skin perfectly tan, her eyeshadow making her intelligent blue eyes pop. I used to look as dignified as her once. A lifetime ago, it seems.

Mia tries to hide it, but she’s worried as fuck. Those messages are going to haunt her for a while, too. 

“I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but there’s a shitstorm on Twitter, too,” she announces. “I mean X.”

I let out a hoarse laugh that is devoid of any amusement. “Yeah, the X is all about my ex lately, it would seem.”

“Very funny. The media is all over issues when there’s room for speculation.”

“Are you, too?”

“Of course.” She gives me a slight grin. “You wouldn’t expect any less of me, would you?”

“Of course not. And, what have we got so far?” I throw over my shoulder as I head into the bathroom. I make quick work of getting rid of the dress and the pantyhose before Mia appears behind me and leans against the doorframe.

“It seems Joseph disappeared right after the big party at The Rite,” she says. “From my investigation, you were the last person who saw him that night. I made sure no one involved the police, just like you asked.”

“Thank you. As for being the last person who saw him, I was surrounded by a bunch of guys that Joseph wanted to have gang-bang me that night. Whatever I saw, they did, too,” I reply as I step into the shower. A cold spray comes down, battering my face and back. It makes me gasp sharply, chasing away the memories of that night. Every time I remember, they claw at me like hungry shadows. 

Mia keeps talking, but I can’t hear her over the rush of water until the temperature adjusts, the warmth soothing away the goosebumps.

“Declan talked to all of the guys that were around you that night.” Her tone changes, growing softer. More careful as she walks closer to the shower, rivulets trickling over her face through the glass pane. “Busy as they were with you, they lost track of Joseph.”

I swallow against the bitterness coating my palate. “Could Declan even identify all of them? Most were wearing masks.” But not Joseph or I. He enjoyed letting those guys grind into me, knowing full well who they were debasing. “If you and Declan hadn’t taken over the show, arresting everyone’s attention, he would have let those bastards rape me, and I wouldn’t even know who they were.”

“You can’t go down that rabbit hole, Sirenna,” Mia murmurs, now peeking around the pane of glass between us. “Joseph is one of the most disgusting bastards I know. What he did had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. He was punishing you for getting dirt on him and leaking it to the press.”

“He was my husband for five years,” I reply, my fingers curling into the tiles. “You don’t do those kinds of things to people who once meant something to you.” Despite the hot water and the heat steaming the glass pane, I start to shiver. 

“I understand that these things hurt even if we’re braced for them to happen,” she argues carefully. “I, of all people, know that. But you need to steel yourself, because now that Joseph is gone, all of his businesses, including his enemies, are your problem.” She pauses, surely thinking about the texts on my phone. “Especially the enemies.”

“That bastard, he knew what he was getting me into.” All my muscles flex painfully as I watch the water flow towards the drain between my feet. “It’s probably why he did it. He knew that he could no longer stop the shitstorm that was coming at him. He was going down, and there was nothing he could do about it. So he fled and left me to get ripped to pieces in his place.” I laugh, the sound hoarse and bitter. “I can’t think of a better strategy to destroy someone.”

“He might well be dead, Sirenna.”

I scoff. “Oh, he’s not dead. We would have found a body. The kind of people that he deals with, if they wanted him killed, they would have made a show of it. Set an example. They would have butchered him and scattered his remains all over the city–the way they made it clear they would do with me.” And that wasn’t even the worst threat.

“Many want to take over his empire,” Mia says, making herself comfortable on the closed toilet seat as I wash my hair and my body. “He’s a Triad member. One of the links that connects the underworld with the world of top finance. Access to his banks is worth this city’s weight in gold.”

I scrub myself faster, the new reality firing up my nerves. By the time I step out of the shower, I’m on full alert, an anxiety attack looming.

“This is bullshit, Mia. I’ve been saying it since this morning, and it seems I’m gonna be saying it for a long time from now on.”

She doesn’t argue with me. She knows this is dark shit, and she’s fully aware it can swallow me whole. I see it on her face when I wipe the steam off the mirror. It gives me the chills, seeing the fierce Mia Rogers so worried.

“You should come stay with Declan and me for a while,” she says when I’m done blow-drying my hair, and we can finally hear each other again. 

I stare at myself in the mirror, seeking the powerful, effervescent woman I used to be. But the face staring back at me is only vaguely familiar. That woman and this version of me share the same straight nose and uptilted dark eyes, but the intensity those eyes used to have is muted. I never had a plump mouth, my features are rather pinched and severe, but my lips look even thinner now, and my face is almost gaunt.

“That wouldn’t be fair to you and Declan,” I say quietly, resting my hands on the sides of the sink. “You’re preparing for a wedding, you don’t need this kind of heat.”

“I’m sure Declan–”

“I’m sure he would, too,” I cut her off, “because there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to please you. But he could spare the trouble. Trying to protect me would mean facing a war.”

“Sirenna, my future husband is one of the most powerful men in the world,” she reminds me kindly.

“So is Joseph. Keeping me safe will be hell with the city’s nastiest overlords trying to get me. Declan can’t protect me forever, and you know what?” I square my shoulders. I may be a broken woman with a drinking problem, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let these assholes tear me down. “I spent a lot of time trying to bring down Joseph Carter for the nasty shit he was involved in. I failed. But now? I’ve never been in a better position to take down half of this city’s evil rats. I could actually achieve something meaningful here.” My eyebrows dip in the mirror as I inch closer to a tough decision. “Right now, I don’t need a protector. I need an ally.”

Mia’s eyebrows rise slowly. “And you don’t think Declan and Jax would come in handy as allies?”

“This isn’t their fight, Mia. Jax kicks ass on the stock market, Declan runs diamond mines. They have nothing to do with the drugs and pharma mob that Joseph got himself involved with. It would be like having an oil sheik fight a social media mogul. No, I need someone who shares the same fight. Someone who has a personal stake in it.” 

Mia walks behind me, running her hands through my now dry, silky platinum hair. 

“Before you do anything about those guys, we need to find out what happened to Joseph,” she says.

“We don’t have the time to investigate that. Those assholes out there would get in the way. I’m a direct rival to them now, an unprotected one with open flanks. I’d be surprised if I made it to the next street corner without a kidnapping attempt.” I glance out the bathroom door toward the window. The outside world will never be safe for me again unless I do something about it.

“There’s only one person who can help me now.” I release a long, shaky breath, a name on the tip of my tongue. The name that sent icy shudders down Joseph’s spine every time he heard it. “Zayne Thorngren.”

A void sucks away the air when I release it out into the space between Mia and me.

“Zayne Thorngren?” she repeats, her voice quiet. “You mean the Lex Luthor of the real world?” 

“Yes. The Lex Luthor of the real world.” 

“Sirenna, Zayne Thorngren has been Joseph’s greatest enemy for years.”

“My point exactly.” 

Mia places herself in front of me, hands on her hips.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t follow your logic. If anyone is going to take you down on sight, it would be Thorngren. Shouldn’t he be at the top of your list of people to stay away from?”

“He is. Which is why I’m going to see him.” I step by Mia, walking back into the hotel room. I open the wardrobe, my eyes running over the few things I managed to have brought here after The Rite. Not much I can choose from, though. I traded the sharp suits for slutty clothes to hook up with random guys at the hotel bar, but I ended up relying on booze alone to escape reality. 

“I’m gonna need something powerful but sexy.”

“Why would you wear something sexy when you’re going to meet an enemy?” 

“Because Zayne Thorngren is a nerd, probably autistic, who freezes in front of pussy.”

“How do you know? You’ve never met the guy.”

“No, because he’s very private, which only confirms my theory. He’s respected at MIT like a scientific Jesus, so he’s definitely a super brain. Private, secluded, hence socially awkward.” I cock my head to the side as I calculate, my hands still on the open wardrobe doors. “He was at war with Joseph over who gets to control the drugs on the streets, so it’s safe to conclude he’s an evil genius with the balls to get into virtual fist-fights with thugs. He’s also got businesses in the underground that would give Machiavelli a run for his money.”

“Yeah, we were together when we stumbled over some of this stuff,” she murmurs. A tremor runs down my spine, and if Mia’s tone is any indication, she’s feeling the same.

“And you think you can manipulate a guy like that?” she continues. “I mean, awkward nerd or not, it sure won’t be the first time some chick has pulled the sexy trick on him.”

“I don’t expect he’s easy to manipulate. You don’t become the head of the entire pharma industry, with the most powerful lobbyists working in your favor at the White House, if you are. But maybe he can get a little intimidated. I could try to make him feel like he’s sixteen again, a pimpled boy masturbating under the sheets to the cover of Playboy. Context matters.” 

Mia steps next to me, and I drop a hand to let her inspect my wardrobe. 

“Red?” she chirps.

“No, not red. That’s your color, and I always looked better in black.” My eyes narrow as I put together an outfit in my head. “Maybe a leather jacket and black lace pumps. A tiny cream satin dress underneath.” Problem is, I have none of that in my wardrobe.

“Mhm, bold. It’ll look both badass sexy and classy with your hair down and maybe some dark red lipstick. The question is, how do we get to him?”

I shake my head. “Not we. Me. I get to him.”

“But–”

“No buts, Mia. Declan will never forgive me if I get you involved with that kind of thug. I’m gonna have to do this alone.”

“Let me at least give you cover.” She gestures toward the window. “Half the city gangsters are after you and–”

“I’ll be careful about how I leave the hotel. Besides, even if I do get caught, nobody’s gonna kill me, not yet. They need me alive to sign things off or to otherwise use me. I would be facing a mafia capo or two before anyone puts a bullet in my head.” I tap my chin with my index finger as the wheels turn in my head. “I would rather not get kidnapped, though. It would be a nuisance.”

“If you do get to Zayne Thorngren, he might be the one to kidnap you. So, how about you let me help?” She holds out her hands before I can protest. “Let’s just start with some good old shopping, okay? After all, we can’t afford anything less than perfect for the Zayne Thorngren Mission, and you don’t seem to have what you need here anyway.” Then, with a dip of her tone that won’t let me say no, “Let me do this for you at least. I’ve got a car ready outside and a squad of bodyguards with experience in Afghanistan. No one will be kidnapping you on my watch.”

I look down at my purse, discarded on the vanity table, the contents spilling out of it. I pick up one of the black cards. I have access to a lot of Joseph’s money, even if not all of it, until he’s officially declared dead.

“Let’s start by spending the asshole’s money.” Wicked satisfaction seeps into my tone. “It won’t lure him out of his hideout, but maybe it will make him toss and turn in it.” My eyes shoot up to Mia’s, whose grin mirrors mine. 

When she and I first met, we struck a deal. I would help her get intel on another member of the Blood Fist Triad she was investigating, namely Jax Vaughn, and she would help me get dirt on my husband. I assumed the code name Dakota and met her in a coffee shop with a baseball cap pulled low over my eyes. There, I told her my story.

I told her that, when Joseph and I met, I had already built a few successful start-ups, but I was young, and they weren’t a big deal. We met at a charity where I was hunting for business angels for my new project, an independent media outlet that would actually bring truth to the world. I was also one of the podcasting pioneers, and he was my first hot-shot guest. The head of the New York Corp Bank. I couldn’t believe my luck, I was walking on clouds.

Joseph fascinated me. He was an older, well-spoken man from whom I felt I had much to learn. I wasn’t wrong there. But boy, was I wrong about the price I would have to pay. Soon, he held me in a chokehold. Keeping me confined to our villa made it easy for him to cheat with models every other day, and his substance abuse problem gradually got out of hand. It turned him into a violent man. I eventually learned to avoid his wrath and turned to champagne more often than I liked to cope with my dire circumstances.

Yet the more I learned about the filthy bastard, the more I hated him, and there was only so much that booze could do to numb that down. I couldn’t keep my arms crossed anymore. I had to do something about the underage girls he drugged senseless and fucked with his buddies, about the kids he sent out on the streets to sell his drugs, about the way he waved his hand when one of those kids got shot in the head as if it didn’t matter. They were just cannon fodder to him.

So Mia and I partnered up. We made one hell of a team, she and I. 

“I just hope we haven’t become danger junkies,” I tell her with a smile.

She smiles back, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Just don’t forget the evil genius part,” she warns. “Remember the stuff we discovered on the streets about Thorngren. That man is Machiavelli made flesh. Even the Blood Fist Triad are wary of him.” And we both know what that means. If he makes the rulers of the underground squeamish, there’s got to be something truly devilish about the man. “I’ll ask Declan to–”

“I told you, I don’t want Declan involved in this. At all. He’s already done enough having the guys from The Rite interrogated.” My voice fades over those last few words.

Mia releases a long exhale, full of patience. “Sirenna, I know why you’ve really been avoiding Declan and Jax. You’re ashamed of the situation Joseph put you in at The Rite. All those guys and–” She stops in time, surely seeing the heat creeping up my cheeks. “But there’s nothing to be ashamed of. They understand better than anyone. Besides, if you feel like shit, how am I supposed to feel? No one actually put their dick inside you that night, while Declan fucked all my holes in front of the entire crowd.”

“And you sound fucking proud about it.” 

“There you go,” she says, running her fingers through my hair as the heat leaves my face. 

“Sometimes all it takes to make a girl feel better is pointing out that someone else should be feeling worse.” 

She laughs. “Always glad to be of service. Now, how do you plan to get to Zayne Thorngren?” She taps her index finger against my temple. “Because I know this brilliant mind already has a plan.”

MEET CUTE

Sirenna

“I trust you can take it from here,” the security guy repeats, keen to get off this floor. He hasn’t even stepped out of the elevator with me, and the look on his face when I glance over my shoulder is quite telling. Before I even get to respond, the doors of the elevator have already closed, leaving me alone in this place.

I look up at the doors, taking a deep breath. Then, slowly, I raise a hand to touch the intricate patterns carved into them, searching for a knob or a latch. Damn, I could swear the material is liquid. It seems to respond to the heat of my palm because the doors open with a smooth hum.

They reveal a space that looks more like the receiving hall of a king than the office of a nerd-slash-businessman. A pattern in the shape of DNA spirals is worked into the marble floor, a large floor-to-ceiling window to one side showing a vast green park that sprawls between this building and the city, skyscrapers visible in the distance. Buttery couches and a low table mark the visitors’ area. Surely only the creme-de-la-creme spend time here, people of Declan’s and Jax’s caliber.

My mouth is still open as my eyes drag to the large, sleek desk that presides from the far side of the room. A pretty-faced man in what appears to be the outfit of a clergyman leans against the desk, not looking very surprised to see me. If anything, it seems like he expected me, but somehow I know he isn’t Zayne Thorngren. 

But when another man emerges from an adjacent room, drinks in both hands, I know instantly that this is him. And he’s nothing like I expected.

His face hits me like a hammer to my gut, leaving me breathless. 

Zayne Thorngren has such beautiful blue eyes that, for a moment, my heart stutters. The tone of his skin makes me instantly think about licking it, and his jaw should be on an advertising billboard for “unattainable standards of male beauty”. His hair is so black it reveals blue highlights when he passes in front of the window, but it’s his lips I can’t look away from by the time he’s eaten up the distance between us. 

God sure as fuck went to town when he made this man. His lips are perfectly sculpted, and I can see how tasting them could feel like a privilege. I can think of no better way to describe him other than “Fuck this”, “You’ve got to be shitting me”, and “I’m fucking done here”.

“Mrs. Sirenna Carter,” he greets in a voice like liquid sin. “How wonderful that you made it in time. I’d made a bet with Priest here about how long it would take for you to crawl out of the hotel you’ve been hiding in, and reach out for my help.” 

Oh, wow. That was sobering. I’m not sure whether to feel offended or grateful for the bucket of ice he just dropped on me, but I’m instantly back to my senses.

He reaches me a drink, his smile not leaving his face for a single moment. “Five minutes later, and I would have had to pay up.”

My eyes flit between him and the clergyman. “Had you instructed your security to let me through, I would have been here sooner. Saved you the palpitations.”

“Oh, and deny myself the show? Oh no, Mrs. Carter. Watching that famously brilliant mind of yours in action was too much of a delight. Premium entertainment.” He winks, and those insanely blue eyes arrest my attention completely.

I absentmindedly take the drink from his hand. He looks down at it, one eyebrow arching up, giving him the look of a young devil. “I know you prefer champagne, but I figured you might need something stronger for the talk we’re about to have.”

“Sounds like you already know why I’m here.”

That smile again. It could disarm a fucking army.

“Of course, Mrs. Carter. If I didn’t know when people were planning to manipulate me, I wouldn’t be where I am. Please, have a seat.”

He motions toward one of the buttery, cream-colored sofas by the large window, light flooding in around it. His movement is fluid, his black sweater stretching over his strong arms and chest. The man is built like a freaking Michelangelo sculpture, an effect which the full black, casual outfit enhances. I lick my lips, trying to divert my thoughts from how he might look naked. It’s just  that finding a man so intensely attractive is a big deal for me. I didn’t think anyone could ever catch my attention like this again, and it feels surprisingly uplifting to know I’m not dead inside after all.

Besides, there’s something beyond his looks that keeps me staring. A strange familiarity, which is crazy because if I’d met this man before I sure as hell would have remembered.

I head over to the sofa, sharply aware of my posture and the way that I walk. I’m wearing a long, thin leather trench coat instead of the jacket I initially planned to wear because I didn’t want all of his employees to see the sexy outfit underneath. But the moment I sit down, crossing my legs, the sides of the coat fall to reveal my thighs, the lace pumps on my feet enhancing the effect. Zayne’s shoulders seem to tense, but it might be just in my head, because I want to affect him. But I can’t show him that, so my eyes fly over to the clergyman. 

“Oh, don’t worry, Mrs. Carter,” Zayne says, following my gaze. “Priest doesn’t really work for Jesus. He works with me. No need to feel guilty about tempting him.”

He casually takes a seat perpendicular to me on the L-shaped sofa, facing the widow. There is enough distance between us to keep me comfortable, but also to make conversation less confrontational than if we’d be sitting face to face. It’s also a way for him to judge my composure. Face to face, I’d have no choice but to stare him full in the face, have my fill of those handsome features without making a fool of myself. The same cannot be said about this angle. If I stare it’s because I can’t help it. 

The same goes for Zayne, only that he doesn’t seem intimidated by the idea at all. He rests an arm over the back of the sofa, crossing one ankle elegantly over his knee and staring at me without a care in the world. Definitely not something you’d do with someone who affects you. Surely, if he felt the slightest hint of familiarity, of recognition, he would say something–wouldn’t he? I swallow hard, trying to get rid of the strange sensation, and trying to keep myself together. It’s not easy, especially with the scent that now envelops me like a crisp morning breeze tinged with citrus. It’s the scent of a man that will shatter everything in the way of his goals. World domination comes to mind as I meet that blue stare.

“So, I suppose this is about your husband having gone MIA,” he opens the discussion as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. Nothing like the socially awkward nerd I imagined him to be. This isn’t the formerly pimpled teenager I thought I could intimidate, but a fucking Adonis who saw ten moves ahead of me. 

“Sad story, but I can’t say I’m very much touched by it,” he continues. “As you surely know, your husband and I are far from buddies. I am curious about one thing, though. How affected are you by his disappearance? Because if your hooking up with guys in the hotel bar is any indication, not much.”

I choke on my sip of scotch. “How do you–”

“I make a habit of keeping tabs on people who might become trouble.”

“Those hookups never went all the way.” Now why the hell did I have to point that out? It’s none of this bastard’s business. I clear my throat, putting on a straight face. “But the question is–how the fuck do you know what happened at my hotel?”

“Maybe I was a guest there.” He twirls the glass in his hand as he speaks. The corner of my mouth lifts, satisfied that I recognize at least one of his strategies. He hasn’t taken a single sip of his drink since we sat down, while I’ve taken three, if only to justify the color in my cheeks. 

Besides, by the look of him, the guy really isn’t a drinker. He’s too athletic for that, yet he doesn’t look like the steroid-fed gym junkie either. The power of his body, his exquisite build, they come from excelling at a sport. Something that enlarges the shoulders and trims the waist, that muscles the thighs and makes the ass look like it’s made of concrete. It takes effort not to ask what the hell he did to look like this.

“No, you weren’t. I would know, since the hotel is mine.” And I would sure as fuck have remembered him.

His grin widens. “I have eyes and ears in all the places that matter. It’s as if I were there in person.”

My lips thin. That must be how he knew about the bar hookups–through his spies. And I only realize that now, taken as I’ve been with his looks. After all, security lets everyone into the hotel bar if they aren’t carrying a weapon or wires–we scan them at the entrance. He must also know that none of those pick-ups ever ended with a fuck. That I always landed drunk and alone in my bed, having cried my eyes out on the shoulder of some stranger frustrated that he didn’t get laid that night. Fuck, I don’t know what’s more pathetic, him knowing the truth, or him believing I’m a slut with a drinking problem.

I tilt my head to the side, mirroring him.

“Since you know it all, why am I here?”

He drags his eyes away from me for the first time, directing them to the window. The way those blue irises catch the light is out of this fucking world.

“Let’s see, there are three possible reasons at the top of my list. First, you were curious to put a face to my name, but that’s wishful thinking on my part, yes?” He gives me a beat to respond, but the moment I open my mouth, he cuts me off. “Second, you’d like me to help you find out what happened to your husband. But that doesn’t hold either, does it? In the end, you don’t give a damn about him. You never did.” Is it just me, or was there just a little bit of venom in that last statement? “Third–and most pertinent, if you ask me–is that you’re swamped with death threats. With Joseph missing, all kinds of nasty people are trying to take over his empire. With you being a woman, the competition thinks you’re easy to take down. So you decided you needed help. And who better to partner with, if not with the man your husband feared most–and who he was in direct competition with.”

He turns his face to me, while I try to keep a poker mask on. 

“You know, I used to wonder what you and Joseph had in common,” I say calmly. “I mean, he runs a large drug network and you control much of the pharma industry, but that’s where the similarities end–or are supposed to, with him being in essence just a thug, and you a refined genius.” I pause for a beat. “But then, while I was busy digging up dirt on my still-husband, I came across some interesting things.” I rest the glass of scotch on my knee, my eyes pinning him down like daggers as I speak out the next words. “You seek to replace the common drugs on the streets with your own highly engineered ones. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

He holds my stare as silence falls over his large office. I become increasingly aware of Priest still hanging out by the desk, of his attention fixed on us. I wonder what his job is with Zayne, because I doubt he’s either his spiritual father or his bodyguard. There’s something menacing about the pretty boy that puts him on an equal footing with Zayne.

“Are you trying to intimidate me with the knowledge you have about my dealings, Mrs. Carter?” Zayne eventually says. His voice is still a silky  caress, but one that could morph into a whip at any second. His eyes slide down my frame. “And here I was, thinking you would use some of your feminine charms in order to coax me into becoming your ally.”

“Now that you mention it, I might as well.” My voice lowers a few tones, becoming more husky and inviting. All my senses scream that I’m doing something terribly stupid right now, but I can’t help it.

I undo the buttons of my coat, flipping the sides open to reveal the skimpy black satin dress. It might be just in my head, a trick that my racing pulse is playing on me, but I think his throat tensed a little.

“Shall I take this as an offer, Mrs. Carter?”

“First of all, I’d appreciate it if you stopped calling me that. Considering all the information you already have on me, I would expect that you already know I planned on leaving Joseph before his disappearance.”

He tsks, twirling the glass in his hand a little faster, even though the rest of him remains calm.

“Indeed. One could argue that you had good reasons to disappear him yourself. After all, you’re a resourceful woman. You just talked yourself past security that even the greatest con artists would have trouble breaching. Getting rid of an unwanted husband shouldn’t be hard for someone of your skill and competence.”

The compliment sends heat to my cheeks, but I manage to mask my reaction.

“I suppose one could make that argument. But not you. You know better. After all, you kept track even of my failed hookup attempts. You’re a know-it-all god of sorts.”

The twinkle in his eye sends my heart jolting into my throat. 

“Fair enough. So, for the sake of clarity, I’m going to ask you again.” He uncrosses his legs and leans forward. When his eyes move down my body again, they’re no longer just mildly curious or intrigued. It seems like he’s x-raying me, shamelessly exploring what I might look like naked. “Is this an offer?”

My entire body heats up, control slipping out of my hands. Now how the fuck do I reply to that?

***

STAY TUNED for the release coming soon! Dirty Arrangement is going live on Amazon on the 19.01.2024 – just a little over a week from now! Interested in more sneak peeks from my books, or maybe in a bit of Zayne’s POV from this one? Leave a comment and let me know.

Tell me your favorite Dark Romance line, and I’ll tell you who you are

Alright secsi witches, time for a new personality test for readers! (Especially ROMANCE READERS) Tell me your favorite Dark Romance quote, and I’ll tell you who you are. You know the drill but, in case you don’t, here it is: Read the lines below and decide which one speaks to you within a few seconds. Which one sits right? Only after the decision fell, read the interpretations below. Have fun!

  1. You’re mine
  2. Who did this to you?
  3. Touch her and you die
  4. Good girl
  1. You’re mine – you’re a person who has had to earn pretty much everything in life, from money to your loved ones’ attention and affection; to you, relationships can be hard work; you are often expected to be in control; expressing your emotional needs may have been labeled as frivolous by important others in the past; deep down, you have a need to be loved without having to earn the love; typical for independent women; you need a partner that you can admire and that you can rely on;  someone who will allow you to “rest”, relinquish control, and still be safe; you’re someone who feels most valuable when being desired beyond rhyme or reason, to the point where it doesn’t even make sense to common sense; the more anchored and dependable you are in real life, the more scandalous to modernity your deepest desires; you yearn to be loved for what you are, not for what you do; you may fantasize about a partner who watches you while you sleep; great need for a feeling of belonging, but that one wa obvious, right? Values a partner finds in you: you’re intense, dedicated, can be clingy, insecure, can become toxic;
  2. Who did this to you? – the stronger a front you put to the world, the deeper the underlying fear you had to experience in the past; the fear may well still be there, you just learned to love it, like with chronic pain; you may harbor and unconscious need for revenge, especially against someone from your close family circle; may feel guilty for some of your more violent impulses and tendencies; duplicity in emotions; trauma – an event that you may not consciously remember; need to reconnect to parts of yourself from which you dissociated; feeling of loneliness; you vet a person’s dedication to you based on their willingness to take risks for you; you would remain forever loyal to someone like this, even if they are toxic, because you believe this is so good, there’s no way you can find better; beware, it’s just a distorted mirror image of what has been taken away from you. The person that you want your partner to be? That’s the part of you that you lost. 
  3. Touch her and you die – there are few things more seductive than a male willing to take on another male for his love; this willingness of the male to make it clear to the world just how valuable you are to him is a great evolutionary sign of commitment; in a world where it is praise-worthy for males not to value and respect females, and the more they can use and discard the merrier, where many men are ashamed to be in love, someone who puts their feelings on display in such a violent way is someone to take seriously; you are emotionally and sexually stimulated by the archetype of the protector–but you probably already knew that; the more interesting part is that you often play the role of the protector yourself for the people you love; you may have put yourself in dangerous situations in the past to protect your mother or a younger sibling; you may have witnessed a close family member being abused; a feeling of powerlessness pervaded your childhood; what you need is a sense of recovering your power; the paradox in all this is that you’re probably the strongest person you know; nothing can knock you down; what a partner finds in you – you would worship at the feet of someone who makes you feel protected; you’d put them on a pedestal, put your rose-colored glasses on, and see them in a way that will make them feel great about themselves; that may be your superpower;
  4. Good girl – relationships must give you a feeling of reward; you live to please your partner; you have the nurturing kind of love that many people find highly seductive; you must be careful though because it also makes you a preferred target for predators; you’re a giver, so you attract takers; you tend to interpret an emotionally unavailable man as a serious man, which often gets you engaged in fruitless chasing; you may put your emotional needs on the last place, or even silence them for the benefit of others; you may do things that you are later not proud of in order to gain a lover’s attention and praise; you may even step on your moral standards and principles; you’re so forgiving, it’s almost angelic; a spiritual person; empathetic; has a direct line to loved ones’ emotions; may have the gift of foresight.

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A Dangerous Affair – CHAPTER I -Excerpt

Hello people! I just finished a new book in the Dark Billionaire Romance series that I’m writing as Ana C. Blacklace, and this is the beginning. Stay tuned, because I will be sharing more free excerps from the books I write under this pen name soon. Have a fantastic reading time!

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WARNING

This is NOT a clean romance. Remember that this is strictly a work of fiction for your pleasure. The author does NOT condone all of the situations and actions that take place between these characters. This is an adult, dark romance not suitable for anyone under the age of eighteen.

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CHAPTER I – Cruel Intentions

Mia

My knees grow weak, and the flute of champagne trembles in my hand.

He saw me.

Fuck, shit.

Shit, fuck.

I desperately want to spin around and disappear into the crowd, but the shock keeps me rooted on the spot. I watch him approach, people staring at him with wide-eyed admiration. 

Lord Declan Santori is a majestic, Brioni-clad version of the boy I used to stalk back in college. It’s striking to see him again, even though I’ve been following him online ever since he emerged onto the city scene as a New York mogul. His presence is even more powerful in person than on screen, punching me right in the gut. Deep down, I was hoping I’d be so far removed from his glamorous new preoccupations by now that he wouldn’t even remember me, but now I know that was stupid. You don’t just forget the kind of secret that we share.

He comes to a halt, towering over me, a dashing smile pulling at his lips. The same sinful lips that he used to torture me with.

Please, someone slap me.

No, Mia Rogers, you’re not that girl anymore. You’re a big-city hustler now, assistant to the most powerful talk show host in New York, the uber-bitch Lucretia Steinard. On top of that, the wife of the baddest billionaire in this city is your best friend, and this is her engagement party. You won’t let Declan Santori bully you here. This isn’t college anymore.

I stick my chin out, trying my best to keep my eyes on a neutral spot on his face, such as right between his eyebrows. I steel myself to ignore the abyssal black of his irises, his exquisitely sculpted face, the intense sex appeal he radiates that has all the women around fanning themselves. Charmed, beguiled, oblivious to the deranged mind behind the beautiful face.

“Well hello, little spy,” he purrs, his voice as deceiving as his scent of lemongrass and cinnamon that awakens my senses along with the memories. 

I feel infuriatingly vulnerable in my red silk spaghetti strap dress that shows too much skin. There are media VIPs here tonight, moguls and anchors and decision-makers that I want to impress. I really need to get rid of that bully-bitch Steinard, so I went the extra mile at the gym these past few weeks in preparation for this occasion. I oiled my skin to look more tanned, the tone contrasting with my sharp blue eyes in a way that cameras like, and my shiny black hair is up in a flawless do. If this were a date, I’d sure want this to be the first impression I make.

But this is a seismic encounter that I’ve been working very hard to avoid all these years. It’s not like I didn’t expect Declan Santori to be here tonight–he’s the future groom’s best friend–but I have planned things to the minute so we don’t run into each other. I watched him leave at around ten thirty–he always leaves events early to create even more buzz around himself—and made my appearance afterwards. But this time, the bastard returned.

“Declan Santori,” I manage, my voice breaking. “Long time no see.”

I hold out against the fear that tightens in my chest, but who am I kidding? The champagne flute in my hand is still visibly shaking. Even the people I was talking to before notice it.

“Indeed,” he drawls, his eyes raking down my frame.

“Such a surprise to see you here,” I blurt out, too eager to fill the uncomfortable silence that he lets hang between us as if it could swallow me whole.

His smirk curls up his lips. “Is it though?” He gestures around elegantly with the glass of whiskey in his hand. “Because this is exactly the kind of place my friends would expect me to be. It’s my tribe.”

“Well, yes. Except we are not friends.” I don’t even know where that one came from. His eyes hold mine, and I’m unable to look away. There’s a quiet anger in his face that seeps into his aura, making everyone around shift their weight, sensing the danger. 

“That’s hurtful,” he replies, his tone low, his voice haunting. “Considering our history.”

I’ve been working to gain my footing in the media for years now, doing my best to become a face for the screen, but I’ve never had so many eyeballs fixed on me before. I’m used to attention. I like attention, but this is a whole new level that Lord Declan Santori, owner of multiple trust funds, tech giants and diamond mines, garners. Word has it, he’s got Congress at his feet, and although some believe that to be an exaggeration, I know him well enough to expect that it’s true. Talking to him is enough to make a girl a star, and he damn well knows it. It’s obvious in the smirk he gives me, but his eyes smolder with dark promise.

Punishment is coming, no doubt. Now that he found me, he won’t stop until he destroys me. He’s planning it right now, I can see that devious mind working behind those obsidian eyes. He’s definitely not the best person to have unfinished business with.

“I’ll be damned, if that isn’t Lord Declan Santori in the flesh.” That voice scrapes my ears, but I manage to plaster a smile on my face as she steps between us.

My boss, uber-bitch Lucretia Steinard, places a long-nailed hand on my shoulder, heavy with designer rings and bracelets. Declan’s eyes are slow to drag over to her, and his mien darkens, making it obvious that he doesn’t welcome the interruption. But Lucretia is too hungry for contact to stop, grabbing onto the chance with both of her red-clawed hands.

“I see you’ve met my assistant, Mia Rogers.” She squeezes my shoulder, and it’s all I can do not to wince. I may have been too successful at banishing my chubby teenage self at the gym, and now voluptuous Lucretia could smother me with her tits. She’s practically pushing them up into Declan’s face as she holds out her other hand to introduce herself. “Lucretia Steinard. But I’m sure you already knew that, right?”

Declan raises an eyebrow. “Are you assuming that I approached your assistant in order to get to you?”

People giggle around us. It does sound preposterous.

Lucretia lowers her hand, looking confused. “No, that’s not what I meant–l just thought, you know, perhaps you had an interest in–” she glances at me, then at him again, “–our talk show?”

It takes effort to refrain from rolling my eyes. Her talk show is anything but collaborative. She calls the shots, and I find myself constantly running errands at her beck and call, but she thinks she can score now by giving me more importance. To think how hard it was to get this job at HQ, and that I wouldn’t even have it without Jax, Addie’s influential future husband, makes my stomach turn. In this industry, people have to pull strings for the sole honor of slaving away for people like Lucretia, but it’s somehow only in moments like this that we realize how mighty wrong that is.

“Miss Rogers and I knew each other in college,” Declan says, his eyes sliding over to me. “I assume it’s still Miss, and it’s still Rogers, yes?” The subliminal message–It better be–crawls up my spine. 

“Yes, yes of course.” Of course? I make a mental note to slap myself real hard when I get home.

He tilts up that perfectly chiseled jaw. As a college boy he resembled a sexy anime character with his spiked hair and intense gaze. But now? He’s so striking, my stupid heart beats out of rhythm. So much added manliness, cunning, and sleek danger. His chest is broad and athletic under his suit, making it obvious he still has the body of a pro athlete. Maybe he still fights in the ring? It was a brutal and cruel kind of boxing that made him a star back in college and, while I haven’t heard a word about that in the media, he might still be doing it–sheer violence and sophistication in one package. Even the way he raises his glass as if to celebrate my being single, the grace and elegance, reminds me of the Machiavellian heartthrob I used to fawn over. Of the way the muscles in his back snaked in the shower, while he raked his fingers through his wet hair while I stalked him.

No, fuck that memory. This is a monster that almost destroyed my life. What he did to me the night we spent together at the frat house, that’s what I should focus on. 

“I’m glad we bumped into each other, Mia,” he says. “What luck, huh? Now that we know where to find each other, I’m sure it’ll happen more often.” Words that any girl at this party would melt to hear. But I stiffen all over.

As if on cue, a catwalk model sashays over, looping her arm around Declan’s elbow, her chin raised with an attitude of ownership. I should feel relieved, but instead, my teeth grit together. The woman is so damn beautiful. Lucretia steps forward with her chest out and her chin up, her blond extensions falling in waves down her back as if to prove she is the most glamorous woman in this little gathering.

“I hope we see each other again soon, too, Lord Santori. I’ll send you an invitation to my talk show,” she calls after him as he turns away with the model on his arm. If I could peel my eyes away from Declan’s elegant back, my head would snap to her. I’ve never heard Lucretia Steinard sound remotely desperate before. People beg to be on her show, not the other way around.

But then again, this is Declan Santori we’re talking about.

“Have your assistant contact me about it,” he throws over his shoulder.

My eyes pop out. No, the bastard can’t be doing this to me.

Once Declan and his model have mingled with the crowd and everybody’s let loose the breath they were holding, Lucretia swivels around. Her pale blue eyes are big as onions, her long, fake lashes almost touching her highly arched eyebrows. “Are you serious?” she croaks. “You and Declan Santori are college friends?”

“I wouldn’t say friends,” I reply, but it flies right past Lucretia’s ear. One of the traits that has gotten her this far in life is that she only hears what suits her.

“Now’s not the time for false modesty, girly.” Fuck, I hate it when she calls me that. “Look around you. Do you see it?”

Indeed, I do. Everyone’s looking at me differently, like I’m more than just one of the hustling little rats at HQ. The sensation is new and scary.

“No, it’s not like that.” I motion in the general direction where Declan is talking to other people. He’s surrounded by a ring of bodyguards now, no one can get anywhere close to him, not even a celebrity like Lucretia. “I mean, he is Lord Declan Santori.” I purposefully stress the word Lord. “It’s not like we move in the same circles.”

Only one of Lucretia’s eyebrows remains up as she looks at me suspiciously.

“He sure seems to remember you.”

“Not for those reasons. He…” Okay, I have to tell her. It’s the only way to deter her from throwing me into the lion’s den. “He used to bully me, okay? I was this nerdy sophomore with braces that had a crush on him and, well, let’s just say he found that amusing, and shared the fun with his friends.”

“Shared?” Her cocked eyebrow rises even higher. The woman has a dirty mind, but that’s one of the few things I like about her.

I scoff. “Not in that sense. Declan Santori had other ways to bully me.”

She stares at me for another few moments, but then she nods in agreement. As if, after studying me more closely than she ever did before, she decided that indeed, I’m not the kind of woman that would make Declan Santori interested in her that way.

I could laugh in her face so hard right now.

If she only knew the sick bastard isn’t into pretty pleasures. He likes humiliating girls with braces, fucking them deep-throat in front of a camera. He loves to dominate and debase.

But I’ll be damned if I let him fuck me up again. I’m not stupid, I know that I can’t run from him anymore. But after how hard I’ve worked and how much I’ve sacrificed to get where I am today, Declan isn’t going to bully me out of my own life.

Still, Lucretia looms over me, exuding an air of ambition. Her appetite for success and money is never satisfied, and now that she sees this opportunity, she’s ravenous.

“Mia, I don’t think you understand.” She rests her jewelry-laden hand on my shoulder again, her nose dangerously close to mine. With every word she speaks, her super white teeth show. “We have a once in a lifetime opportunity here. We could get the Declan Santori on our talk show. The man controls half of this country’s wealth in his trust funds, and he’s the hottest bachelor out there, man of the hour. Audiences will skyrocket.”

Ah, there it is again, that our show thing. To think that, until a minute ago, she hasn’t missed a single chance to make my life a living hell. Juggling her appointments, doing the impossible to get props that occur to her at the last minute, and managing the people she doesn’t feel like dealing with herself. If it hadn’t been for Jax’s intervention, I would have been the last person she would have picked for a permanent hire after my internship. She hates my guts, and has shown it every day since I was shoved down her throat as her new assistant. She leans so close that I can smell the mint on her breath, her hand on my shoulder weighing me down.

“You will do this,” she pushes through her teeth.

“Lucretia, you can rely on me for whatever you need, you know that. I mean, I’m the one who got you gold-polished natural roses for that special edition you got at the last minute with that huge K-pop group. But please understand–I do not have that kind of access to Declan Santori. He just threw that over his shoulder to get us off his back.” You, to get you off his back.

Her eyes narrow into a glare. “Listen girly, I don’t know what you’re playing at, but the big man said loud and clear he expects you to contact him.”

“He was just trying to brush us off. I don’t even have his number.”

Her red-lipped grin fills with cunning. “But you are best friends with Jax Vaughn’s future wife. I’m sure she can help you get his contact details. You’re actually a very well-connected person, if we think about it.” 

“We’ll look like tail-wagging stupid idiots,” I press, but she won’t relent.

“You will get me a meeting with Lord Declan Santori,” she decrees. “If you know what’s good for you and your career. Your connections got you on my set, but they won’t keep you on it if you don’t prove your worth. And now’s your chance.”

Her hand drops off of me. I breathe out in relief as I watch her rich, round ass saunter away and slip into a cluster of other celebrities she’s friends with. She laughs out loud, throwing her head back, and I wheel around, happy that I can breathe again. But as I run into a wall of eyeballs fixed on me, my breath catches.

The conversation between Lucretia and me was low enough that they couldn’t hear a single word, but the man-of-the-hour billionaire garnered me more attention than I need right now. The news that he talked to me will spread out like wildfire by tomorrow among the celebrities and elites of this city. Fuck, I need a drink.

I barrel through the crowd, murmuring ‘excuse me’ passive-aggressively and stomp right out of the party room into the more secluded bar area around the corner. Unlike the party rooms, which are surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows that make one feel like they’re floating out into the skyline, there are no windows here. Just glittering bottles all the way up to the ceiling behind the mahogany bar, and scotch-colored leather seats. It’s like a gentlemen’s club, except what I find here are scattered couples giggling, sitting too close to each other to have just conversation on their minds. It’s mostly beautiful young women and filthy rich old men.

I hop onto a leather-cushioned barstool, and the bartender walks over, cleaning a shaker, a white towel thrown over his shoulder.

“You look like you need something strong.”

I nod, licking my lips. They’re parched as hell under my lip gloss. The realization that I just ran into Declan Santori courses through me, making me shake all over, but the bartender is thankfully quick to set a glass in front of me.

I down the vodka, gritting my teeth against the burn shooting down to my empty stomach. A gym addiction isn’t my only derailment. I can also boast an eating disorder, but that’s fine, since the camera likes a thin woman. There’s a quote from a famous model right above the entrance to HQ – “You have one life, and you need to be skinny.” I’ve been taking that literally for years.

“Another one, please,” I mutter as I fumble inside my clutch for my phone.

“Are you sure?” the bartender asks with knitted eyebrows. “Maybe you should have something to eat first.”

So it’s that obvious.

“Listen, I’ve had a rough night, okay?” I tell him with a surrendering attitude, my shoulders slouched. “I just bumped into the man I’ve been running away from all my life, and to top it all off, my uber-bitch boss wants me to chase him and get him on her talk show.”

“That bad, eh?” a familiar, soothing voice says. I look over my shoulder to see Addie, the future bride, walking toward me. She hikes herself up onto the stool next to me, taking my hand in hers on the counter. “I saw you two talking.” Her soft blue eyes are filled with concern. “I swear to God, I had no idea he’d come back tonight. Usually, when he’s gone, he’s gone.”

“I know,” I manage, drained of energy, my eyes half closed. What I need is another drink, and then to sleep for a whole week. “On the one hand, I’m glad it happened, you know? I’m tired of running. Besides, I was bound to bump into him sooner or later. I won’t hold myself back in my career just so that he won’t see me on-screen. Maybe it’s better that it happened like this.”

Addie presses her plump, beautiful lips together, not sure what to make of my statement as I down my second drink. It hits me that Adalia Ross, my best friend, is everything Lucretia Steinard is trying so hard to be: voluptuous, impressive, and angelic. Except Lucretia is a viper, and everything about her screams that out–especially her too-large fake smile, and her enormous fake tits.

“I know it sounds partly defeatist, but it isn’t,” I defend myself.

“Not at all defeatist,” Addie says quietly. “Brave. But…It’s not this first encounter between you two that I’m worried about. It’s the next one, and then the next. I mean–” she doesn’t finish her sentence. She won’t probe around the reopened wound, but I do it for her.

“He’s going to want revenge,” I murmur, circling the rim of my now empty glass with my finger, eyes fixed on the glittering wall of liquor in front of me, my face reflected in one of the whiskey bottles. I look haunted. “He’s going to do bad things to me.”

Addie squeezes my hand, forcing it away from the glass. She tries to catch my gaze, but I keep evading it.

“You’re not that girl anymore, Mia,” she says softly. “You’re not the mousy little sophomore that used to film him secretly in the boys’ shower. The one that he could intimidate and manipulate.”

I smile at my wretched reflection. New Mia, terrified of the same old things.

“Maybe Jax can fix this,” she says. “He and Declan are as close as you and I are, maybe he can get him to give up the chase. I mean, it’s been years, he should have moved on.”

I shake my head. “You didn’t see the way he looked at me, Addie. He’ll never move on.” My voice fades over the last sentence because, as I say the words, I grasp the full scope of their meaning. “He knew perfectly well what he was doing when he told Lucretia to have her assistant contact him.” Slowly turning towards her, I ask, “By the way, can I have his number, please?”

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