The 36 questions that can make your crush fall in love with you – set 3 – final

And here we are with the 3rd and final set of the 36 Questions that can Make your Crush Fall in Love with you. Complex experiments run by reputed scientists over the course of years have revealed that not only chemistry has an important part to play in attraction, but that we may actively influence the process a well. Simply put, we can contribute to making our crush fall in love with us.

Check out the first two articles Set 1 and Set 2 of the 36 Questions that can Make your Crush Fall in Love with you. Now, here we go with . . .

Set 3

  1. How would you say that you and I (the dialogue partner) are feeling right now together?
  2. Finish the sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom to share . . .”
  3. If you were to become your dialogue partner’s close friend, what do you feel he/she should know about you?
  4. Tell your partner what you like about her/him; be very honest, and tell her/him things you wouldn’t normally tell some you’ve just met.
  5. Tell your partner about an embarrassing moment in your life.
  6. When was the last time you cried in front of someone? How about alone?
  7. Tell your partner the first thing you liked about her/him.
  8. If there was one thing too serious to joke about, what do you think that would be?
  9. If you were to die tonight without the chance of talking to anyone before that, what would you regret not having said to someone? Why haven’t you said it?
  10. If your house and all your possessions were on fire, after having saved all your loved ones including pets, what would be the last thing you would go back to save if there was still time? Why?
  11. Of all the people you care about, whose death would hurt you the most? Why?
  12. Tell your partner one of your problems and ask them how they’d solve it if they were you.

Note: In my opinion it would be best if you had a “facilitator”, a neutral someone to introduce the tasks for you when the questions aren’t direct (it’s best if you ask those yourself) or to create the context. Otherwise, some of this might feel kinda awkward, wouldn’t you say?

Enjoyed this? Plenty more Love Psychology and Love Secrets where this came from. Feel free to roam the site for personality tests, taboo-splintering articles and romantic suspense stories for the sassy reader. Subscribe to this blog and follow me on Twitter and Facebook for even more fun, and to receive notifications every time a new article hits the grid – soon a new personality test of the series What does your Story say about you? Looking forward to reading from you!

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The 36 questions that can make your crush fall in love with you – set 1

For ages humanity believed that falling in love means feeling attracted to another by some mysterious and irresistible force that has nothing to do with free will. Then, a few decades ago science has discovered the chemistry of “chemistry”, and linked irresistible attraction to the genes and the major histocompatibility complex (MHC) (details here). And yet a remarkable ample experiment the results of which have been made public in 1997 showed that if two people willingly spent time together and answered each other a series of questions (determined in the context of the experiments), this can lead to the two people growing very close and falling in love with each other.

The experiment – or better said experiments, since they were based on extensive research over a long period of time – has shown that people can play an active part in matters of falling in love by engaging in a positive way instead of passively letting things happen to them. All you have to do is be willing to play along and engage in a sort of “game” of questions and answers – of course, it is recommendable to do this in a relaxed and non-lab way, meaning that you should keep it within the frame of “normal” circumstances such as long night talks or lunch or coffee on campus, etc.

The questions – Set 1

  1. If you could choose any person in the world, who would you like to have as a guest for dinner?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Did you ever rehearse before making a phone call? Why?
  4. What is a “perfect day” for you?
  5. When was the last time you sang to yourself? What about to someone else?
  6. If you could live to 90 years old and keep either the body or the mind of a 30 year-old for the last 60 years of your life, what would it be?
  7. Do you have an obscure hunch about the way you’ll die?
  8. Name three things that you and your partner seem to have in common.
  9. What aspect of your life do you feel most grateful for?
  10. If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, which one would it be?
  11. Tell your partner the story of your life in 4 minutes, in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or skill, what would it be?

When plotting my next novel I kept these in mind and I must say, the story flows wonderfully. My stories are mostly inspired – or, better yet, “triggered” – by real life stories and events, and the details of these experiments came in quite handy. The one I’ve started on tonight, The Call Boy, is inspired from a real life crush of a business woman on a call boy who turned out to be even shadier than that, and who unwittingly applied some of these strategies. Stay tuned on the blog as well as on Twitter and Facebook to find out more, as well as for set 2 and 3 of the 36 questions that can make your crush fall in love with you.

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3 types of love that impact your life dramatically

As a writer of romantic suspense imbued with psychological mystery I explore the topic of love in depth, and have been doing so for many years. Okay, I’m “using” it, too, like some people use drugs. I can never get enough of it. Love is the ultimate pleasure, and research has shown that human life does, indeed, revolve around love.

But love comes in many forms, and in this post (part 2 next week) we’ll look at the main types of love that impact us hardest and what they say about us.

  1. Love at first sight and secret love

Did you ever feel you fell in love as if “struck by lightning”, as soon as your eyes locked with another’s? Love at first sight is something you remember your entire life, it’s extremely strong, and puts butterflies in your stomach. But you must keep in mind that this kind of love is addictive. You soon feel you can’t breathe without the person.

What’s just as strong is the secret kind of love, as ravishing as love at first sight, only that it’s impossible to bring it to expression. This is the kind of love in which you hope that the other person feels the same, but it’s impossible for you to explore the relationship due to external or moral obstacles. This is the kind of love you might feel for a teacher, a married boss, your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s best friend, your best friend’s ex; generally, people who are “off limits.” This kind of love often fuels romance novels, and they’re often inspired by real life situations – I’d love to hear your stories here, so please share in a comment, if you feel comfortable. Let us explore this further.

  1. Unrequited love

This is an extremely painful kind of love that everybody goes through at least once in a lifetime. In this situation you love someone intensely, but you’re aware this person will never love you in return. It’s a devastating but also transformational kind of love, the love that conveys most emotional maturity and depth. It’s a cathartic, purifying, and deep-drilling kind of love. Being tried and forged in this kind of love will ultimately make you a fascinating person.

  1. Obsessive love

This is the kind of love where one partner is obsessed or emotionally dependant on the other. One feels completely helpless and lost without their loved one. Unfortunately, obsessive love can only lead to the destruction of the couple because the way the obsessed person expresses their feelings hurts the other, limits them and/or conditions them. Obsessive lovers are often afraid and lack confidence, which is human, and obsessive love is something almost everybody experiences at one point in their loves. Whatever goes beyond that, nevertheless, (repeated or particularly intense loves that elicit questionable action) may be a sign of mental instability or mental disorder. Stalkers are “born” of obsessive lovers. Got stories? I’d love to read them! Leave a comment, if you feel comfortable, and let’s talk about it.

Feel like more love talk or personality tests that will reveal who you are? Feel free to roam this site for them in the upper sections like the “Personality Tests” section, or by scrolling down among older posts – there’s a whole lot to choose from there. On Twitter and Facebook we discuss hot matters daily, so stay tuned : )

 

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10 less popular truths about love

Psychology has shown more than once that human life revolves around love. A broad topic that’s been approached in all ways possible, and is yet far from exhausted. Especially us, writers, explore it in novels, short stories, novellas, seeking to satisfy our cravings and curiosities. One of my own personal favorites? – Is eternal infatuation with one partner possible? I’ve been exploring this one for a while now. Don’t get me wrong, I have deep appreciation for the “good wine”, the profound love that begins once the testosterone level has dropped and the juices of lust have dried, but I still relish it when voltage stirs the butterflies in my stomach. In my psychology research for my stories I came across many valuable pieces of information, and here is a sneak peak – some of the less popular truths about love.

  1. People look for very different types of love. Do not assume your lover is looking for the same as you are. You may be driven by a need for consuming love, while your partner seeks profound friendship. The variety is endless.
  2. You’ll like this one – You might mistake fear for indifference or irritability. Your partner may have chosen distance in order to protect themselves.
  3. You may be surprised by a desire to leave a partner that you love. Even by the desire of being with someone else. Such thoughts are normal, and they are born from fear. It is wisest not to act on them until time validates them.
  4. You’ll sometimes feel that you’re too good for the person you’re with.
  5. Having children does not strengthen relationships. It weakens them. Exhaustion and a feeling of being overburdened take a heavy toll. Work is required in order to grow from that.
  6. Keeping the romance alive over the years requires hard work and psychological finesse. Education on the subject is paramount. Read, read, read.
  7. You’ll often feel offended, and you’ll feel the need to insult back.
  8. The first time your partner will belch in your presence without apologizing will hit you hard. That’s when they’re getting too comfortable, and you’re starting to feel taken for granted. Yes, it’s the beginning of the end.
  9. Sometimes you may cause each other pain on purpose, and it’ll have nothing to do with fluffy handcuffs and red bedrooms.
  10. The greater the love, the greater the risk.

Enjoyed this? Plenty more where it came from. Feel free to roam this site for many similar goodies, and follow me on Twitter and Facebook for further discussions about love and relationships. For even more secrets and talks, subscribe with your e-mail, and you’ll be notified each time a new discussion has been launched.

I love hearing from you. Please leave a comment with your thoughts on the topic, suggestions or experiences. The best discussions often take place in the comments section under the posts : )

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The 5 Languages of Love – Which One is Yours?

Dr. Gary Chapman is a famous counselor who “coined” the five languages of love that people “speak” and “understand” best. We often need and desire the very thing we offer, which is the very reason we offer it so much – to receive it in return (not counting the cases of narcissism, ego-centrism and some other I daresay “conditions” that hinder genuinely caring about fellow creatures).

These are the 5 languages of love that Dr. Chapman identified and explored:

  1. Speaking – you love compliments and you enjoy hearing “I love you;” you love being told the reasons for which you are loved, details about your lover’s feelings; you offer meaningful words in return, and you speak them from the heart; harsh words and insults hurt you deeply.
  2. Spending Time – you offer and desire full attention; you’re reliable and supportive of your partner when they need you; you make your partner feel significant and special by being there fully, focused exclusively on them; if they miss important moments or don’t spend enough time with you, you’ll feel hurt;
  3. Gifts – it’s not about the gift itself, but about the effort behind the gift – financial or different; you show not only your affection but also your respect by this means; you prefer being shown affection and respect the same way; the more valuable the gift, the more valued you feel – NOTE: this language of love has nothing to do with materialism;
  4. Service – Easing the burdens that weigh on your partner is your best way of expressing your affection; by making their life easier, you manifest your feelings; you’d like to be shown affection the same way; your partner’s laziness may be hurtful for you, because you take it as lack of affection;
  5. Physical Touch – you show not only your love, but a whole palette of feelings by touching; the way you stroke your partner’s cheek conveys a whole range of emotions tied to affection such as care and concern; you value physical presence, and feel most loved when being offered the same; physical distance or coldness can be hurtful to you, as you may interpret it as lack of love.

These languages of love apply not only to lovers, but to all people we feel affection for. What do you think is your language of love? I’d love to read from you.

 

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