The Executioner – Episode 11

As promised, episode 11 of “The Executioner”. Stay tuned next Friday for episode 12, and every week for much more.

Novel Synopsys:

When she meets heartthrob Damian Novac, shy student Alice develops a heavy crush against her best wishes. Hoping to get close to him, she joins Damian and friends on a winter trip in the Carpathian Mountains – a choice that will change her life abruptly.

When the train derails in high snow, they seek refuge at an abandoned cottage, but soon people of their group start losing their minds and dying. Alice barely escapes with Damian and some of their friends, only to realize she’s far from safe even back home. A shady corporation that conducts experiments on humans and which had ‘engineered’ Damian into something monstrous many years before is on their trail.

A man of secrets and obscure powers, Damian might be a villain or a hero. Though aware of the danger he poses, she can’t fight the obsession that draws her ever deeper. Will Damian become her lover or her executioner?

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Pic source.

Rux nodded, neck long and face drawn in mock-refinement. “Words put to paper in your dear philosophic period. Freshman year, wasn’t it? When you were still tactless and fearless. Why play pretense now, Alice? You know that what most if not all women want above all else is to be beautiful and desirable. Fuckable.” She sneered the last word in my ear, Marlene Dietrichish enough to set us both laughing.

“I did say that, didn’t I?”

Twisting a strand of my hair on her finger, “You must’ve read it somewhere.”

“Most probably some philosopher.”

“Maybe Schopenhauer the Misogynic.”

“Maybe Nietzsche. I’d expect such impertinence of him, too. Wouldn’t hurry to ascribe it, though, it was a while back.”

“Well, you know what they say. We forget names and titles but the content shapes us. Do you still believe in the thesis?”

I pondered and, for the first time ever since Tony had stood and left me crying at a corner table, I spoke with the ugliest of truths, fished right out of the pond of mud and shit deep down.

“Strongly.”

Ruxandra smiled. “Then hear and savor: You returned home different tonight. It must be the adrenaline Novac makes boil in your blood. You’re still the sweet Lolita with baby blue eyes and creamy caramel locks but somehow more . . . glamorous. Striking even.”

“But still Lolita,” I whispered, then changed the uncomfortable subject. “What’s up with George? Why has he been so restless without you today?”

Ruxandra dropped back on the bed, hand already reaching to turn off the reading lamp. I jumped on the mattress next to her and caught it.

“I’m listening.”

She rolled on her back, eyes to ceiling. When she spoke, she did so as if she were talking to herself. “All he wants to do is cling to my chest and snivel. The entire time. Among sobs he might repeat apologies, although I dread it when he does.”

“Apologies?”

“He feels guilty for having been violent with me up in . . . up there. He fears he might’ve done with me what he did with . . . that guy.”

A heavy silence fell over us. What was I supposed to tell her? Oh, honey, everything’s gonna be all right? Overused and arid of meaning. I let go of her hand and lay down by her side. She turned off the light, and for minutes both Ruxandra and I stared upwards in the darkness.

“You think he would’ve done it, Alice?”

The question I feared. I squeezed her hand, my voice faint. “Yes.”

Further moments of silence, even though we were both wide awake and haunted. I decided that, since we were speaking with the dirtiest of truths again, we might as well do it all the way. Plus, this particular truth might just have made her feel better.

“You would’ve done it, too, Rux.”

The sheets rustled as she rolled to face me. I didn’t do the same, but kept staring upwards, eyes darting all over the ceiling in search of words.

“The gas, it rose our adrenaline to a specific level that stripped us of everything to sheer instinct. We were . . .”

“Killing machines,” she breathed.

“Every one of us was ready, willing, if not eager to spill blood.”

“Not every one. You weren’t.”

I couldn’t keep back a bitter laugh. The memory of the peasant in rubber boots, his bad-smelling grin, the wrinkled, bloodshot eyes that my fingers had clawed into, all of it played before me like a movie on fast-forward.

“Oh, yes, Rux, me too.”

She squeezed my hand harder. “That was different. It was self defense.”

“You call it self defense when you don’t have a choice,” I snapped. “But I overpowered him, Rux. I scratched his eyes, he couldn’t have followed if I’d used the chance and run away. But no, I wanted to finish him.”

A while later I was calm enough to add, “Malice is in all of us, I guess. When stripped of the glazing of civilization and given the proper chemical input, we’re all just instinct. We’d never guess who we really are until we get down there, to the most base of levels.”

Another few moments of silence, grotesque memories sucking us both in. When Rux talked again, I heard her as if through static.

“I don’t know, but base isn’t how I felt.”

Now it was my turn to be curious and surprised. “How did you feel?”

“Superior.”

The mattress wobbled as she rolled on the other side. She cried herself to sleep that night. The bed was a vibrating cradle, one that cast me into dark thoughts in the silence. For hours I thought about what she meant by superior. How could anybody feel like that in the state we’d been? We’d been animals. Stronger than in our civilization-coated environment where most of us are lost to apathy, but still base.

Maybe indeed better than merely human in some sense. In the sense of tougher, maybe more efficient. All due to the gas that had turned our bodies into some kind of high-performance machines. I’d even recovered from multiple fractures and God knows what else before I’d woken up. The realization gave me the chills.

But if the gas alone could do that, resulting in blood tests that baffled doctors, then what had BioDhrome done a whole year with Damian Novac? I shuddered at the idea of him lying on a metal table, needles sticking out of his body, his eyes half-closed and mouth open, a tube snaking down his throat.

Then I thought about Giant. That he was so large he could’ve easily won Mr. Olympia could be ascribed to steroids, the brightness in his eyes to the gas, but combined? In the context of Damian’s and BioDhrome’s story?

With his breathtaking looks that bordered on inhuman Damian seemed to be of the same outlandish league as Giant, so the latter was surely one of BioDhrome’s experiments, too. An agent, Damian had said. Then it hit me.

A genetically modified organism.

I sat up in a flash. This is it! This was the result of everything linked together: BioDhrome conducting medical experiments, the R.I.S.’ chase for them, my Dad’s part in it as a geneticist, the weird Giant and the striking Damian, all of it led to one conclusion: BioDhrome agents were genetically engineered killers.

I felt a consuming urge to find out exactly what they’d done with Damian and what made him “unable to live among people”. “An Upgrade is as doomed as a target,” Dad’s words came to mind. Yes, that’s what they must be called, Damian and Giant. Upgrades. More than ‘normal men’. Superior, as Ruxandra had put it.

For hours I strolled in circles around the room. Barefoot and gnawing at my partly nailless fingers, there was little difference left between me and an asylum lunatic. When Ruxandra shook me awake from the chaise longue in the morning, my eyelids were swollen and heavy.

“What are you doing, curled up there?” she inquired, black hair messy, eyebrows raised, eyes bitter chocolate.

“I’ve got it, Rux. I’ve got it,” I grumbled.

***

To be continued

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Enjoyed this? Don’t keep it to yourself. Share your opinion with the writer, publisher and readers, we’re happy to hear from you. Stay tuned for episode 12 next Friday or subscribe at anaatcalin@gmail.com to receive notification at each new post.

Love,

Ana

The Writing Process Blog Tour

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Writers – Typing. Plotting. Sweating. And more and more often, getting together and working in teams on projects that are meant to entertain, please and heal. We’re on such a project today – The Writing Process Blog Tour. Together with a great team of writers and authors we’ll be talking about how the writing process works. We’ll talk about style, as well as about the inspiration and especially transpiration involved in creating work readers can enjoy to the fullest – our greatest dream as authors.

The first thing I’d like to do is thank Luciana Cavallaro for allowing me to be a part of this. She posted on this topic last week, you can read about how the writing process works for her here and more on  her original writing based on alternate mythology (!) here. I’m a regular reader of her posts and recommend them with great trust. I’d like to point out that I have genuine and deep appreciation for her and the writers I’ll be introducing you to in the last part of this post. I love and respect each of them for different reasons, which I will share with you.

My role in this project is telling readers and fellow writers about the strings and mechanisms behind the writing process and how they work in my case. I could write volumes on this one, but I’ll do my best to keep it to the essentials. For details I’ll gladly be at your disposal, so feel free to leave comments and tell me what you think or what you’d like to take from my experience. Experience is only useful when shared.

What am I working on?

I’m currently deep in crafting Cries of the Blood, a sequel to The Blacksmith. This is the second book in a series, but I don’t intend to go about it the way I don’t appreciate myself as a reader – making one story too dependent on the following. Each of my books offers some kind of closure, e.g. if The Blacksmith centers on human potential – backed by scientific research – and romance, Cries of the Blood is focusing on past lives – again, it won’t fall short on plausible, scientific explanations – and, of course, romance. I’m posting chapters of the book each week on my blog, so readers and fellow writers are warmly invited to give their opinions, suggest turns and edit if they see fit. This helps keep the project interactive and allows for team work – yes, I’m a hardcore team player, so I’ll probably be stressing the importance of that every chance I get.

Cries of the Blood binds past, present and future in a story that unfolds in France. It’s sewn with chateaus, cathedrals and history, as well as forbidden passions and struggle. You can read the first hundred pages here.

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

I’m not struggling to make my work different. Different is not the right word for me. What I can say is that I find my inspiration in heavy loads of research in psychology, medicine and history and I haven’t read anything quite similar to my work so far. The characters go from humans like you and me – called Rooties or base humans in the books – to becoming the best versions of themselves. I called them demiangels and demidemons. I daresay this is my signature. I’ve been striving to prove that humans have all necessary traits to become like their ideals – immortal and invincible – and I’ve been spending long nights with the glasses on the tip of my nose, deep in books, reports and dissertations. Having a medical doctor for a mother and a physicist for a father helped my cause. I’ve drawn a lot on their knowledge and experience when I went on searching for the perfect bind of life and death, love and lust, purpose and bliss. This may sound a bit crazy, but I do believe in what I write.

Why do I write what I do?

With all the drama going on in today’s world, with stress, desperation and crime sinking their claws ever deeper in the throat of humanity, with cancer taking lives like once the Influenza, I’m stubbornly seeking to unearth humans’ natural ability to heal themselves and attain bliss – not in the next world, but in this one. I think passing to the other side – death – should be a matter of choice and not the Sword of Damocles.

Just as importantly, seeing how couples who’ve lived a lifetime together give up on each other, failing to see in their partners the “god” or “goddess” they once fell for, gives me the chills. I believe that the passion which brings two people together – the crush, if you like, or even the limerence – is a powerful tool that helps maintain the “kick” throughout relationships, a tool people could learn how to use. I strongly believe that couples can love and passionately desire each other for millennia, like when they were still new for one another. Again, I do believe in what I write.

How does my writing process work?

This may sound weird but, trust me, it’s the truest thing I can say about writing: it’s like having a baby. First, it grows in you. I just knew I wanted to write – yes, wanted, not had to. See the difference? There are those who have to – they’re chosen. There are those who want to – they choose. I tried putting ideas on page for a year and a half. But research elbowed its way to the font of the line. It wasn’t yet the time for writing. And then the characters took shape in my sleep. I saw Aurelia Novac – a Romanian English teacher whose face was slowly being marred by wrinkles while her students blossomed into youth. She didn’t talk at first, but I had access to her feelings – she knew she would die an old woman, undesired by her husband or any other man, feeling that her life was wasted. She asked me to change her destiny. I had the power to, so I did. But when the water broke, so to say, it was harder than I’d expected. Some pages just flowed from my fingertips, others didn’t. I had to suffer, breathe and push like at childbirth. Sometimes I’d just brace myself and rock back and forth in my chair, eyes stuck to the computer screen. Mostly it was like watching a movie, yet somehow different: scenes took place in slow motion, as if the characters wanted to keep me guessing. They’d sometimes give me one line at a time. Soon, I began to write as if I was watching a series on TV. I look forward to writing each day. That’s why I initially decided to post the episodes from Cries of the Blood each week – for readers to enjoy reading each episode of their weekly fiction as I did writing each of them. Starting next week there will be two episodes, Wednesdays and Saturdays. So stay tuned at anaatcalin.com.

Research never stops and neither does the flow of ideas. The work isn’t done with the first draft either. Yet even though I aim to offer my readers the best experience possible, I still write for myself. The reason is simple: that’s the only way to keep it real and – returning to the second question “how is your work different” – here is yet another answer. I totally enjoy other styles and foreign stories, but focusing on “what sells” functions like a virus in the organism of writing. Nevertheless, I do keep an eye open for new trends and developments. I doubt too many people would enjoy Dante’s style these days – I know I wouldn’t. I know I’d want a book that will entertain me and feed me, not strain my nerves. As an author, I will offer no less than I expect either.

Next week:

Camelia Miron Skiba – is one of my favorite authors. I discovered Camelia during another blog tour (importance of team work!) and would like to emphasize this: if you want a professionally written, perfectly edited, captivating story that will make your week, she is your author. I’ve read a lot of her work and preferred her Hidden Heart and Born in Sin even to Coelho and E.L. James (yes, funny that I have both of those in one sentence but people are complex and have tastes to match). As I stated above, I have genuine appreciation and respect for the authors and bloggers I recommend.

Stephanie Hurt – Stephanie’s blog posts have inspired and given me strength in difficult moments. She is the one who made me feel I’m not alone out there with my troubles and that other writers share them too. Her posts are slick, to the point and empowering. She lives in Georgia, is a writer, an accountant and a mother. She is a well of motivation.

Joe K – Joe is fairly young but he’s impressed me with many things. He works with a team of other young writers and together they have created The Forum. Their work is manifold and rich, they write really well and I found I have a lot to learn from them – again, binding past, present and future. Keeping an eye on their dynamic project often replaces New York Times at morning coffee.

Stay tuned for their posts next week, the 18th of November 2013. I’m sure they’ll be a pleasure to read.