For ages humanity believed that falling in love means feeling attracted to another by some mysterious and irresistible force that has nothing to do with free will. Then, a few decades ago science has discovered the chemistry of “chemistry”, and linked irresistible attraction to the genes and the major histocompatibility complex (MHC) (details here). And yet a remarkable ample experiment the results of which have been made public in 1997 showed that if two people willingly spent time together and answered each other a series of questions (determined in the context of the experiments), this can lead to the two people growing very close and falling in love with each other.
The experiment – or better said experiments, since they were based on extensive research over a long period of time – has shown that people can play an active part in matters of falling in love by engaging in a positive way instead of passively letting things happen to them. All you have to do is be willing to play along and engage in a sort of “game” of questions and answers – of course, it is recommendable to do this in a relaxed and non-lab way, meaning that you should keep it within the frame of “normal” circumstances such as long night talks or lunch or coffee on campus, etc.
The questions – Set 1
- If you could choose any person in the world, who would you like to have as a guest for dinner?
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Did you ever rehearse before making a phone call? Why?
- What is a “perfect day” for you?
- When was the last time you sang to yourself? What about to someone else?
- If you could live to 90 years old and keep either the body or the mind of a 30 year-old for the last 60 years of your life, what would it be?
- Do you have an obscure hunch about the way you’ll die?
- Name three things that you and your partner seem to have in common.
- What aspect of your life do you feel most grateful for?
- If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, which one would it be?
- Tell your partner the story of your life in 4 minutes, in as much detail as possible.
- If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or skill, what would it be?
When plotting my next novel I kept these in mind and I must say, the story flows wonderfully. My stories are mostly inspired – or, better yet, “triggered” – by real life stories and events, and the details of these experiments came in quite handy. The one I’ve started on tonight, The Call Boy, is inspired from a real life crush of a business woman on a call boy who turned out to be even shadier than that, and who unwittingly applied some of these strategies. Stay tuned on the blog as well as on Twitter and Facebook to find out more, as well as for set 2 and 3 of the 36 questions that can make your crush fall in love with you.