I want to lose my head for you and feel good about it – Ep. 20 of “The Marquis”

A young butler brings in clothes. I take a bath and put on an elegant cream-colored two-piece suit and glossy high heels that he provides. My hair finds structure in a wound golden tail, but the make-up fails me. Last night took its toll, and no matter what I do, the eerie effect of the golden eyes reflecting in the mirror won’t lessen.

Zed and Joyous escort me to the curb, the latter holding the door as I get in the back of the car by Kieran’s side. He looks fresh in his suit, his marble face flawless and his smile dashing, his attitude very different from the man’s who used to drive icy fear into my bones with a mere glance. The knowledge that he still has that power, that he can hypnotize me into obedience or dread anytime, unsettles me.

“Is everything all right?” He takes my hand his. I look down at it, my heart beating in the rhythm of my crush.

“I’m still wary of you, Kieran.”

“Please, don’t. I’ll never hurt you again, I’ll die before I do.” He squeezes my hand, and I look up into his black eyes that show pain.

“Maybe you won’t hurt me by doing what you did before, but how can I be sure that you’ll never use your hypnotic powers on me again?”

“I promise that I’ll never influence you. Not anymore, not like that.”

I narrow my eyes. “What do you mean ‘not like that’?”

His gaze catches a shade of wisdom. I realize just how old he actually is. “I hope you’ll still allow me to try and convince you, just like any other person.”

“You’re not ‘Any Other Person.’ It’s unfair to demand Any Other Person’s privileges.”

“I’ve said it before, and I can’t resist saying it again – you’re a very special woman, Saphira.”

I’m not so sure, but I’m flattered nonetheless. I nestle at his chest, breathing in his bittersweet scent that stirs me in my crush. I try to get a grip on my feelings and keep a cool head.

“Kieran –” I lick my lips, searching for the right words to put this. “You say you’ll never hurt me again. But you came to Northville with the iron purpose of hurting my father. You planned an ‘epic revenge.’ Is that still your plan?”

Kieran holds my chin up and looks me in the face.

“Would you consider that I hurt you if I took revenge on your father? Even though I’d keep you very far from that revenge?”

I gulp down the knot in my throat. “I don’t know. How far can I be kept from it, considering that he’s my father.”

“He raped and killed women, Saphira. He tortured Catherine.”

My skin creases. “What do you intend to do with him?”

“First answer me this: Don’t you believe your father should pay for what he’s done?”

“I believe that’s better left in Providence’s hands. No evil deed has ever gone unpunished one or way or another.”

“Well, it’s been decades since Catherine, and your Providence hasn’t yet seen fit to punish your father.”

“No, not yet. But are you sure you want his blood on your hands? Blood is heavy, Kieran, no matter if it belongs to the just or the evil.”

He laughs a bad laugh, and it seems the dangerous Marquis is back. “Who are you telling about it? I have so much of that weight on my hands, Saphira, it should’ve pulled me to the core of the Earth until now. You know this.”

“I do. And it’s the very reason I’m worried and unsure. You and I, our connection . . . It’s happening fast, it’s relentless, and I want it badly, but I can’t live with the idea that you take lives.”

His gaze freezes on mine, and for a moment I fear this last point brought us to a dead end.

“You’re asking me to relinquish revenge on your father in exchange or for the sake of this closeness?”

“For the sake of it, of course. Listen, Kieran.” I squeeze his hand in both of mine and hold his gaze. “My father and his group committed terrible crimes, not only against Catherine for sure. We have the opportunity to unmask these monsters. You’re rich and powerful, I’m sure your means can beat theirs if they try to corrupt the press and the police. We can bring it all to light and nail them the right way.”

“Saphira, I survived being engineered into a monster and used as a killer only for the sake of this revenge. It’s what kept me going. You’re asking me to throw away my reason for breath.”

I caress his cheek. “want to be your reason for breath. But I’m realistic, and I know such fantasies are childish. But I’m asking you to relinquish revenge is because I believe you and I can have a fresh start. The past is the past, but we cannot be together if the poison of vengeance seeps into our present, continuing to shed blood and tears. I want to live out my love for you freely, smoothly, without hacks and hatches. I want to lose my head for you, and feel good about it too.”

Kieran stares at me as if I’m turning into gold with every word. When he kisses me, he’s thirsty and deep and passionate. I’m dizzy when he breaks the kiss and joins his forehead to mine, both his hands on my face.

“For this favour, dear Saphira, I’ll not only consider dropping revenge, but I’ll turn that childish fantasy into reality. I’ll make you my reason for breath.”

My heart jumps, but I don’t want to be stupid. “I’m not asking –”

“No, you’re not,” he interrupts. “Because you’re wild and idealistic, but also mature and reasonable, and I love that about you. But fantasy, Saphira, is not only for children. Fantasy wouldn’t be imaginable if it weren’t possible.”

I smile and stroke the back of his hands. “And you’re the living proof.”

 

***

Trailer Next Episode:

The car stops, interrupting the magic moment Kieran and I share. Zed Stone Mask opens the door to the sight of the lunatic asylum, a grey desolate castle guarded by a black gate made of black wrought iron. Its spires rise high and seem to pierce the leaden clouds, thunder adding the final touch to a creepy landscape. After only a few steps my high heels slump into a puddle of mud, and Kieran catches me before I sprawl full-body onto the ground.

Next episode.

Previous episode.

All previous episodes.

Enjoyed this? Please let me know your thoughts in a comment, I’m always ecstatic to read from you. Stay tuned for a new episode on Tuesday and check out the prequel, Saphira, in available here: ) Enjoy!

Pic source.

6 thoughts on “I want to lose my head for you and feel good about it – Ep. 20 of “The Marquis”

  1. Interesting moment.

    For some reason this scene reminds me of the growing love between the young Hannibal Lecter and a beautiful young Dragon Sister woman played by Gong Li in the movie Hannibal Rising.

    Hannibal is still haunted by thoughts of revenge for what happened to him in his young life.

    And the Gong Li character wants him to give up thoughts of revenge and channel that energy into something good.

    But alas, time and circumstance and evil people got in the way.

    And so ultimately the young Hannibal Lecter turned into the Dr. Hannibal Lecter the world knows today- the Hannibal Lecter of The Silence of The Lambs.

    Sadly when time and circumstance are so overwhelmed by complete and total absolute evil, love (or at least love as we humans tend to think of it) isn’t enough.

    1. Oh yes, such a great comparison, Chris! I now see it too, the smilarity between The Marquis and Hannibal. Kieran turned Marquis, and Hannibal turned Cannibal, so to say. Even though Saphira is much softer than Gong Li (whose character I never fully understood), she too has deep understanding for Kieran’s dark side. Thank you for your great comment, and I hope the following episodes will keep your interest 🙂

  2. Poor Saphira, she wants a normal love from a tortured demon. I like her plan to have the Marquis bring the evil of Northville to light even if it traps her father. She only has the Marquis’ word and Jeremy’s story of the past who also has ulterior motives. I don’t believe we’ve heard from Jeremy since the fire scene. I wonder if he too isn’t down a pit somewhere. And these serpents slithering everywhere. What’s a girl to do? Great suspense and awe building as we watch all of this unfold.

    1. Thank you, dear muse 🙂 Indeed, Saphira has no reason not to trust the story of the past, considering what she’s witnessed the Marquis do, and that his story and Jeremy’s story “kiss” so to say. She wants a normal love from a tortured demon because he asked for a chance in the previous episode. In this one she merely finds a way to let him know she finally agreed to it, but she has her terms. Jeremy, oh yes, he has more under his sleeve than we’d expect 🙂

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