A subject that fascinates. What is it about the abuser that makes the victim lunge over and over again right into his punches? What is it about the stalker that arouses? Well, research and experience bred some insights – the stalker’s obsession can easily be mistaken for genuine, deep interest in his subject; the abuser often justifies a slap or bad word with extreme jealousy, which easily translates, “You’re sacred to me, no one else can touch you.”
Now we all know abuse is bad. Many lazy shrinks with more hours of twisting a pencil between their fingers and watching psycho-thrillers than real research and field work will support the stamp: if you put up with that, you have some serious daddy issues, gal. Well, that’s the easy way to file the matter.
Political correctness is a witch more often than not (feel free to replace that “w” with whatever letter you see fit; I’ve contemplated “b” for a few seconds). The businesswomen exploited by lovers rarely make the headlines; usually it’s the crack addict or the financially dependent mother. But fact is, no matter the self-esteem, relationship with the father or the preferred brand of dildo, women need a high level of attention. They often feel neglected.
The Abuser Typos makes women feel worshipped through extreme attention. The beater is often forgiven because, after he’s blackened her eyes, he kisses her with the fervor of a man addicted to her; that’s a pretty strong glue; add some alcoholic issues in the mix, and you have the Romeo-and-Juliet-together-to-the-Grave recipe.
Abusers are a$$holes who put on a good show at the right moment, and why they abuse is a wholly different story. My point is: The Abuser Typos enjoys a high rate of success because it builds on an archetype in women’s psyche – the love of Hades, God of the Underworld; his love is consuming, complete, jealous, but Hades is fair in his love; he gives, he worships, he puts the world at the feet of his beloved. THIS is the reason the woman keeps to the abuser – after consuming, complete and jealous, she expects what her psyche (based on the archetype) is wired to expect, namely devotion, worship, attention, great love-making. But the Abuser is a rat. He deceives and manipulates. The Abuser is not Hades.
Of course, not every woman is compelled by the Abuser, and there are huge differences between The Abuser Typos and The Hades Typos, which I’ll cover in a following post. But until then, I’d love to hear about your experiences, men and women. Have you ever had a “fatal attraction” of this sort? At what end were you?
I enjoy researching secrets and taboos through psych study and philosophy, and explore deep and dark relationships in fiction, seeking the beauty in the dangerous. Feel free to check them out here, and enjoy the beauty of the bad.